Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Healing Matrix

The Casseri are no longer in this dimension
perhaps out of charity
or pity
they left their healing matrix here
it can heal and restore any carbon lifeform
it asks for nothing in return
such a good and useful tool
has caused more interstellar conflict
than the foaming mad insane horde
of the mind flaying bastards from Frego

Take a bite out of crime? Heck, he'll bite anyone!

A musical interlude



Things You Need to Know #11

Yard sales seem so innocent, though no one ever actually sells their yards. But sometimes a bad apple will stroll among the gawkers. Mr. Swop is one such bad apple. He has bad skin, it looks almost gnarled, and his smile is more like a snarl. He hunts for things that get put on sale by mistake. Like the rare collectable that mom thought was just another doll. He will come back later when people realize the mistake has been made, and THEN the true bargaining begins.

This was something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Brain Bugs

Source:  Starship troopers
Location:  In space, where you can't hear things that suck
Threat Assessment:  8.  Not much on their own.  They can suck your brains out and are telepathic.  But their real power is they control hordes of bugs.
Limitation:  Too fat to get along well on their own.  Slap their mother ugly.

Today's Secret Code

"How can there be world peace when we can't even agree on what a duck sounds like?"  Again:  "How can ther ebe world peace when we can't even agree on what a duck sounds like?"  Today's Colour is topologically torpid.  Today's Author is tied up.  That is all, maho maho.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

BANG BANG

When the Sych take a contract it is to the death
either the Sych's or the target
They take things way too personally

A Gorgan Seaspider on the Faceplate

memories of "Alien" flashed through my mind
as the energetic beastie
beat agains the glass
We now knew what killed the whale
we saw earlier

There is always hope

Spy Kids: All the Time In The World

This is the fourth Spy Kids movie and would almost count as a reboot if it weren't for some familiar faces now grown up. In this chapter we have Jessica Alba as super spy and mother. Wanting to concentrate on family she does one more job while just about to give birth to new addition. This leads to some fun watching a super spy with baby mountain beat down on the bad guys. It sets the incredibly silly tone of the movie. There's nothing that can't happen in a Spy Kid's movie and it would fly apart like a bugs bunny cartoon set on blend if it weren't for the emotional core that tethers all the baby fart jokes and weirdo bond style weapons.

That core is mostly in the tension between young rebecca and her stepmom. Of course she doesn't know that her stepmom is a super cool ex spy, what she does feel is that she is trying to take the place of her real mother. This makes Rebecca act out by creating elaborate pranks. Her brother is a lot cooler about the situation but he has his own issues involving his need to wear hearing aids. Both siblings are also having to deal with the new baby which is always a pain.

All this mini angst gets tossed aside when suddenly they are being attacked by goons and mom is brought back into the service. Life suddenly becomes ultra cool, even their mutt turns out to be a talking android dog. They find themselves trying to get away from the Time Keeper who is literally trying to stop all the time in the world. His main goon talks like a helium junkie and has "time" bombs that can freeze you.

This threat is bigger than our family so the old crew comes back. Carman and Juni, though they are having big sibling problems themselves. Can they catch the villain? Can they resolve their issues? Will Dad ever learn that his wife is a spy? Will the talking dog shut up? Watch and see of course.

I liked this film. It doesn't have the weight of "Super 8" but it was never meant to. This was designed to be a light romp and that's what it is, though I will say that at the end they actually did something with the villain to give him real gravitas. All the actors were fine and looked like they were having a hoot. The talking dog was voiced by Ricky Gervais and I betcha there are some choice out takes out there somewhere not fit for children.

This movie though is fit for children, lots of fun, and as Bill Cosby used to say, "If you aren't careful, you might learn something."

HEY HEY HEY

Things You Need To Know #10

There is a species of royal garent beetle that is capable of eating sin. Unfortunately, they eat a little more than sin, but what is a little flesh for purity? Mr. Ed Dimhole has a small hive of the beetles and would be more than happy to share their gift. All he asks for is a small donation and some pickled eggs. He's partial to them.

Monster of the Day: Lolth

Source: Dungeons & Dragons
Location: The Abyss and the Underworld
Threat Assessment: 8. A demon ruler with many minions and since many are drow she actually has minions worth a damn. Capable of great magic and don't forget she's half giant spider.
Limitations: Gods don't like spiders any more than most mortals.


Today's Secret Code;

"Despite all the scales the fish weighs the same."  Again:  "Despite all the scales the fish weighs the same."  Today's Colour is salmon.  Today's Author is throat singing "Salmon Chanted Evening."  That is all, maho maho.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Cycloptic Guardian Dhassa

Dhassa has given his eye
to learn the magic that can be drawn from gates
As a guardian he cannot be defeated

Lotus Dreaming

Things You Need To Know #9

There are only five copies left of Album Number Nine. If found you might have some difficulties playing the album. It tends to shatter or melt phonograph needles. With the right set up though you can hear beautiful pieces you've never heard written by the masters of classical music. Written by them after they had died.

The Half Time of the Walking Dead

Well we have reached the half season finale of "The Walking Dead," and it pretty much worked. If there is a problem that both the first season and the second season so far share it's that they tend to have a good beginning episode and a good ending but then pad the middle. The second season is far worse in the respect than the first with its aimless human wanderings. Because of this, this episode seemed to move almost too fast. Some of the fights between characters seemed amped up from 4 to 8 without a real justification for the amplification. Still, after all the hunting for Sophia walkathons I'm going to take this episode with a grin.

It all starts when Glenn, world's WORST secret keeper, let's the cat out that Hershel has a barn of zombies. Our crew is not happy. I can understand this, besides not wanting to have a horde of zombie part, because of their adventures in Atlanta with the CDC. It must feel like deja vu. They find a place of safety then find out the fellow running the place is coo coo for koo koo puffs. So, I can see how the tension is a lot more than what it might have been otherwise.

Ol' St. Rick though thinks he can talk this all out. So he goes over to Hershel for a little chit chat. Hershel doesn't want none of it, and wants them off his land. This is a reasonable position. Unfortunately, Rick has learned some things about post apocalypse living and basically says they are staying short of a gun battle. Instead, he offers to try to find a way their two groups can live together. Hershel doesn't want to change his belief systems and instead challenges Rick to basically walk a mile in his shoes. All this means that soon enough they are fishing zombies out of the creek to put in the barn.

Meanwhile, Shane is getting on everyone's nerves. Shane's acting like he has just a combination of PCP, cocaine and skunk musk. He's a wired dude and he's basically going around saying "See? See? I was right!" Unfortunately, he's not getting much love. Specially from Lori he basically tells him to take a hike and the baby is most definitely not his. Dale is trying to hide guns from Shane and that didn't go over well.

Anyway, with everyone's tempers at edge it only took one little thing to spark it all off. Seeing Rick and Herschal bringing back zombies was it. I'm sure some in the group wondered if Rick had switched sides or something. Others might have seen it as Rick being his usual too good for this world self. In any event, it causes Shane's head to blow off like a cartoon character and he runs to the barn and basically starts the first human/zombie kent state.

The interesting thing is after a bit of hesitation everyone in Rick's group joins it. The mob has formed and it's an ugly thing even when it's doing something right like killing zombies. It's ugly because you have no idea how it's going to turn or twist. A few more words from Shane and those same good and not so good people might have started shooting Hershel's group or Rick. In any event, this was the moment that Shane might have been able the wrench back the group under his control.

Then came the punchline.

They finally found Sophia. It stopped them all as if they were hit on the head with a baseball bat. You can see the conflicting emotions move on their faces as they were rooted to the spot. Finally, it was Rick, who did the hard thing.

In the next episode there's going to be some hard explaining to do. Hershel and his group knew that they were looking for a little girl, and they just got in a little girl zombie. That wouldn't seem to take a lot of mental math to put the twos together and get the four. So then they will have to explain why they kept mum on it.

Should be interesting.

Well now that just ain't cricket enough...

So last night on "Once Upon A Time," we explore one of the harder characters to believe in.  That is the saintly Mr. Hopper who is as we all know actually Jiminy Cricket.  Now I don't know about you dear readers but this is a stretch for me to buy.  Firstly, the few CGI shots of our fellow in his original form didn't really help.  Secondly, one had to wonder why he took the human form he did.  There's nothing ... um... cricketish about it.

Well last night episode actually worked to cover the second point and to add quite a bit to a character that can in the wrong hands become an annoying self righteous jerk.  It starts in the fairy tale world and we see a young boy picking pockets at a puppet show.  Later we see him with two grifters who are dressed so over the top that they would be considered chewing the scenery if they had just stood still for two minutes.  At first I thought this was a boy Pinocchio with the cat and fox.  It turns out that the young cut purse is none other than our Hopper.  So much for being a conscience.

Meanwhile back in the real world two things happen.  First Emma actually officially joins the police force of Storybrooke, and secondly the Mayor Queen pushes on Hopper to be hard on Henry.  The results are more dramatically felt from the moment Emma took the badge.  Suddenly there's a rocking and explosion.  Turns out there are a lot mines (dwarves ya' know) that have been abandoned on the edge of town and obviously some old dynamite or something must have gone off.  Henry believes though it happened because of Emma and she is slowly breaking the curse just by being in town.  In doing so for the first time things are changing.

Unfortunately, it is now that Hopper chooses to challenge Henry's belief.  Thinking there might be proof in the mine (why exactly is a little unclear), our young hero goes off into the hole looking for fairy swag.  Meanwhile Snow White is still trying to get her head around the new Prince Charming situation.  It's not easy since they are both still under the curse.  They both feel there's something off but can't get a bead on it. 

Back in the Fairy world we now see the familiar Hopper as an adult.  He's still under his no good parents thumb which still doesn't speak well for his moral system.  He wants to get away from them but he seems unable to.  He makes a deal with Rumplestiltskin for a potion to fix his parents so he can finally escape.  If you know Rumplestiltskin you are immediately on edge since he didn't really make much a deal.  It's turning out that Rumplestiltskin is definitely the big daddy baddy and that's a good thing since Queen Mayor falls more and more into "Desparate Housewives" territory.

In the real world everyone realizes where Henry has gotten off to and head out for a rescue.  Hopper, out of guilt, goes into the dangerous mind to save Henry.  Ah, but who will save Mr. Hopper.  What happens is the usual mine catastrophe we've seen a billion times on TV.  It doesn't deserve much more mention than that.

Back with the old Jiminy we see him try to zap his folks after they did a flim flam on some nice farmers.  They just laugh cause daddy did a gypsy switch so guess who got the bug a boo juice?  Jiminy is horrified and goes back inside.  Sure enough, that sweet young couple is now a pair of truly baboon butt ugly wooden figures.  Jiminy can't help but not they are still holding hands.  It gets worse, suddenly a young kid they didn't know was around runs into the house and sees his parents as dolls.  It's not pleasant.  In the end Jiminy had to get away from that scene and finds himself wishing.  Luckily for once he gets visited by the Blue Fairy for wish consultation.  Turns out that he can't bring the parents back, but maybe he can help the child through life.  He responds that he still can't get away from his folks.  The fairy says perhaps you can if you wish you were somebody different.  Well, you can guess that he choose cricket as the perfect thing to be.  Oh and the kid?  His name is Gepetto.

All in all, a very nice episode even if it had some major cliches.  I certainly like the character of Jiminy Cricket a bit more.  We are also given another peek into just what a player Rumplestiltskin is.  I have the feeling he's going to start playing some major mind games with both Emma and the Queen Mayor.  Can't wait.

Monster of the Day: Wilbur Whateley

Source:  The Dunwich Horror
Location:  In several dimensions in New England
Threat Assessment:  5.  Very smart (not well educated save in the occult), knowledgible in the occult, fast growing, non human body, more a threat in that he is trying to open the way between dimensions to allow Lovecraftian gods to come to party.
Limitation:  Not immune to dogs.



Today's Secret Code:

"It is perilous to practice polyglotism in a pernicious poem zone."  Again:  "It is perilous to practice polyglotism in a pernicious poem zone."  Today's Colour is kawaii to the bone.  Today's Author is feeling peckish for a calzone.  That is all, maho maho.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Deacon Doctriximus

It soon became evident that the only socialized healthcare could come from the Church
With a newly energized base the Church created new orders of medical monks
Now in the future armed literally with the power of healing
Deancon Doctriximus will save you
body
and
soul

Young Faye With Pookie

You Thought It Was Bad When It Was Just Damn Dirty Apes....

Things You Need to Know #8

There is a house by the mall, the one with all the stores going out of business.  It's a faux gothic style with blue flamingos in the yard.  It is a natural spirit trap.  Any spirit that enters into the house stays there.  The good news is that if a spirit has attached itself to you then all you have to do is go into the house then step back out sans spirit.  The bad news is you would be entering into a house full of trapped spirits.  Their mood is to say the least.....annoyed.

This was something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Demogorgon

Source:  Dungeons & Dragons
Location:  Mostly the Abyss AKA Hell
Threat Assessment:  8.  A demon lord.  That means he commands a host of other demons.  He himself is chock full of mystical energy.  He also has two baboon heads and tentacles capable of the most horrid damage.
Limitation:  Not many.  Mostly rivalries between itself and other demons and godlings.  In other words, you meet Demogorgon you better PRAY...

Today's Secret Code:

"Lava lamps are so disappointing to the literal minded."  Again:  "Lava lamps are so disappointing to the literal minded."  Today's Colour is a trip man.  Today's Author remembers the walkman.  That is all, maho maho.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Invocation of Mrs. Neinea

When alive Mrs. Neinea was a gifted medium
It was only natural she continued using her gifts
now from the other side

Professor Ectos Believes in Not Sparing the Rod or the Magic Wand

Super 8

If you like Speilberg and J. J. Abrams you'll love this film. If you find their particular styles annoying, well the good news is the mixture of the two styles mellow both out. I myself found this to be an enjoyable film with more than a little emotional resonance. I think kids would truly enjoy this film and the box office seems to prove that.

Set in a small town in a decade far far away (1979), a bunch of kids are trying to finish a film using the above titled Super 8 film. There's the dreamer kid, and the pyro kid, and the why am I with these kids kid, and there is also the sad kid. He has good reason to be sad because his mother was killed four months earlier in an industrial accident. He and his dad are at best distant. He's staying on the project out of friendship and just to keep his mind occupied.

One fateful night they add a girl to their boys club because they needed an actress. There are instant sparks between the the bad girl who's really not that bad and the sad kid. Their dad's hate each other, and she definitely doesn't trust a cop's kid. She's specially paranoid since she "borrowed" her dad's car and doesn't even have a license. Of course, they are eventually going to put that all aside and fall in love(?), infatuation? Whatever that first real feeling is.

Meanwhile though we have a film to shoot. The film within a film is charmingly um... ed woodian but hey they are just kids. Suddenly, though into all this fun comes a train. Filming it as it passes by ("Production value!" shouts the director/producer/writer) they catch the train as it runs off the rails. Boy howdy it does, this is one of those times where a big special effects budget was really used well. It was like a sudden thanksgiving feast for the eyes! The kids all live (how I'll never know), but they are forced to beat feet quick as the army (air force actually) comes and they leave behind their camera.

Of course what the scooby gang don't know is something else got out of the wreckage. Something we aren't going to SEE for like an hour. Thank you Mr. "I am Cloverfield" Abrams. Yeah, I know it's suppose to heighten suspense, but come on. Show the Damn thingofamabobby before we die of old age, 'kay?

Anyway, the rest of the film tracks the monster, our gangs interaction with said monster, and the fraught emotional confrontation between our characters as they sort out both past and present. Oh and young love, can't forget that. I'd go into more detail, but really it's much more enjoyable to watch for yourself.

Overall, as I said this is a great film. My only real gripe is as I stated above they are very leery about giving us a good look at the beastie from the train. I love the feeling of nostalgia the film generates. I know it made me remember the one film I made using super 8, and more importantly the friends I had then. This is one of those rare films where adults and kids can both watch without insulting the intelligence of either.

Things You Need To Know #7

Do not drive on Thrall Road after dark. There is a chance you will see a hitchhiker. It will become very clear as you come closer that it is one of those ghostly urban legend hitchhikers. Obviously being of common sense you will not pick up the hitchhiker and that should be the end of it. There are just two things. The first is don't look in the rear view mirror, that way you will NOT see the car from hell that will pick up the hitchhiker. The second is do not look too closely at the hitchhiker's face because it might be yours.

This has been something you needed to know...

Ice Warriors

Source:  Dr. Who
Location:  Mars and Earth
Threat Assessment:  6.  Strong and highly armored they are armed with high technology and capable of space travel.
Limitation:  Ice Warrior culture values honor and so that can be used against them.

Today's Secret Code

"Someday we will meet the aliens."  Again:  "Someday we will be the aliens."  Today's Colour is an intelligent hyper active shade of blue named Looo.  Today's Author looks to the star like a dog gazes at a bone.  That is all, maho maho.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Be Careful When Picking Up a Psycher

Johnny Dotts thought he had it all sewn up
the punk was pure weasel wuss
and was about to go down
hard
but Johnny Dotts picked on the wrong fellow
Tommy Two Brains was not amused
and was about to give him
a piece of his mind
the blunt edge

The Amphibatross

Old Gods were a fickle lot
Once the God of the Sea
had a booty call
with the Goddess of the Sky
From that came the Amphibatross
Sea foam and feathers
beak and waves
child of a disfunctional
near omnipotent
family

Things You Need To Know #6

Do not ever dial your birth date into your phone.  They will know.

This was something you needed to know.

Conan

In many ways there is nothing wrong with Conan.  It is a perfectly fine film, specially by the low bar of swords and sorcery films and even previous Conan films.  The trouble is that it just lacks that spark to make it stand out. 

The first problem is that it is neither fish nor fowl.  That is, it doesn't have the feel of the original Conan stories or the Arnold movies.  Now this might not be a problem if it had a real flavor all its own, but really it feels generic.  It uses all the names from the Conan stories but it is lacking a certain vital energy, the complete barbarism that is Conan.  On the other hand it avoids like the plague any sense of lightness found in the Arnold version. 

Speaking of Arnold the sad fact is that Jason Momoa just doesn't have "it" and Arnold Schwarzenegger did.  "It" is that weird quality of an actor that just jumps out at the audience despite any talent.  Jason at this point can act rings around Schwarzenegger and he did very well in "Game of Thrones," so I'm not knocking him.  But despite the long list of negative Schwarzenegger managed to capture the audience attention and entertain despite our best intentions.  If Jason is given better material I'm sure he'd be a fine Conan, it is just that Arnold can punch out a camel and we love it.

Jason's job was made horribly hard because he was saddled with Ron Pearlman as his dad.   Ron is an incredible actor and dominates any scene he's in.  That's the trouble.  This is Conan's story but after 15 minutes we wish that Conan's dad didn't die cause he was so interesting.  It also doesn't help that the young Conan is also pretty interesting.  With his combination of delicate features with total badassery he's a  tough act for Jason Momoa to follow.  It's really tough when the best scenes occur BEFORE the main actor gets on stage.

The CGI landscapes are perfectly fine, but they don't hang together as a world.  While setbound and totally silly, the weird "holy land for five cents a day" look of the original Conan tied everything together.  Also, while the music here isn't bad it is again generic whereas the music of the original Conan was big bold and in your face.

So in short, by some miracle Arnold Schwarzenegger is still the screen's definite Conan.

Monster of the Day: Reapers of the Grimm

Source:  Grimm
Location:  Anywhere apparently
Threat Assessment:  3, 6 if you are a Grimm.  They are tough and are armed with a wicked scythe.
Limitation:  Very vengeful and tied into their job of killing Grimms.

Today's Secret Code

"On the ship of time we must question whether we are keeping a course or trapped in a current." Again: "On the ship of time we must question whether we are keeping a course or trapped in a current." Today's colour is trapped in titanium oxide. Today's Author is considering being trapped in Amber as an option. Must consult with Oberon. That is all, maho maho.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Today's Secret Code:

No code, secret or otherwise. Just a sincere wish that you have a better time than the turkey. God Bless.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Lucy Volt

Lucy Volt
is an unlucky android
always in trouble
but she has good friends
so she always is saved

Earth Elemental

Earth Elementals aren't naturally bad
but they can get hungry
a mine is like a throat
a cave mouth is well named
an avalanche is just the world
having a snack

Not Every Bird Can Be An Angry Bird

....some can only work up to being highly annoyed

Batman: Year One

There's a reason why superhero origin stories get retold so often. The public if only by osmosis is generally hip to how Bruce Wayne became the Batman so the artist or film maker is free to put something of his own stamp on the tale and not have to worry about losing the non geeks in the audience. Batman: Year One was first a graphic novel and now a DC direct to DVD animation thatis about Batman's first year on the job.

Except it isn't.

The nice thing about this particular retelling is that the real hero our favorite police man, Jim Gordon. This is his first year in Gotham as well, and he has to worry about corrupt cops and his pregnant wife and now some weirdo is running around dressed as a bat. Obviously, a very stressful time for Gordon. He tries hard to be a good man in a very bad year, but he's not a superhero. Sometimes he fails, as when he fools around with another cop. It is Gordon's struggles that make this a compelling story.

Other parts, not so much. I don't like the retcon of making Catwoman a prostitute. It just seems lazy thinking to me, and doesn't really fit the character of Selena. Batman's part of the story is so well known that it can't help but feel by the numbers at time. Though I do like that they show that because under the batmask he's still just a man that wounds just don't magically heal on their own. As an aside, when Bruce dies the M.E. is going to have a field day looking at the scars. Parts of his body must look like an old oak tree.

So, over all I liked it, but its not a perfect show. DC has done better, but they still do better with animation than their track record with movies. There is no DC animation equivalent to "Batman and Robin."

Things You Need to Know #5

Trust me. Do not turn to the last page of F. J. Farmer's book "The secret of secretions" without reading all the rest. Farmer just hated that and had a voodoo queen cast a curse that would take anyone who did such a vile deed. "The Secret of Secretions" is his only book because he was the victim of an unfortunate hotdog cart accident.

This was something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Labyrinth face palm

Source:  Labyrinth
Location:  Goblin Kingdom
Threat Assessment:  2.  They seem stuck to the side of the walls.   But there are lots of them and they can grab.
Limitation:  Hands stuck to the side of the wall aren't much of a threat except in special circumstances.  Also, their personality suggests more mischief than threat.  Just don't ask to go down.

Today's Secret Code:

"Quantum physics is the final proof that God does indeed have a sense of humor."  Again:  "Quantum physics is the final proof that God does indeed have a sense of humor."  Today's Colour is wondertastic.  Today's Author is fanful.  That is all, maho maho.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Hive Child's Kiss

The hive child's kiss
stings a little
then there is sleep
forever
forever more

What Came Bounding Towards Us

Things you need to know #4

Doctor Hmadala is no longer practicing.  He sometimes see some old friends or consults on a case of some medical oddity.  But mostly he stays in his home and works on creating individual organs out of bronze.  He has hopes of creating a whole anatomy someday.  What you need to know though, is that Doctor Hmadala has the last two bottles of wine from Atlantis.  He still receives offers for them from many collectors but refuses them gently.  It is said that to drink from the vineyards of Atlantis is ensure a long life and prosperity.  It's been said that Doctor Hmadala once had three bottles. 

This was something you needed to know

The Bridge

Twenty years ago Craig Spector and John Skipp got together and bashed out "The Bridge." It still feels razor sharp and acid fresh to this very day.

It's a doomsday story. In the general there's nothing new here. Toxic waste, blah blah blah. Accident, blah blah blah. A ragtag assortment of the townsfolk who must face the terror, the horror, the mystery, that is... the BRIDGE blah blah blahida blah. Luckily for us Craig and John take this boilerplate and forge a literary sword.

The first good thing they do, or the last actually is that EVERYBODY DIES. There you go folks, that's your spoiler. Before you touch this book know that EVERYBODY DIES. This is a doomsday novel where there is an actual doomsday. Now you might rightly wonder why read a book when you know everyone is a goner. Well, the short answer is that there are worse things than death. A lot of the characters are going to through as Bowie would say, "cha-cha-changes."

The next thing I like is the nature of the threat. Toxic waste might have been the cause, and even forms a continuing theme, but what came out from under the bridge is a very different beastie indeed. It is not so much as a monster or even a group of monsters but a radical change in the rules of the universe. A second genesis. In short form, in a universe where once there was but life or death there is now a third option. How can you fight a change in the very way the universe can operate? It makes one yearn for fighting Godzilla, that is easy by comparison.

This all nice and all but it wouldn't make for a great book without great writing. I never understand how two people can write one book, but these two manage it with style. They were of movement known as "Splatterpunks," and the movement was known for a fast and loose style and of course lots of violence. Craig and John write almost like it is a comedy, a farce, which is sometimes the best way to write a tragedy. No one is spared from some sharp observations. As far as they are concerned every one is responsible from the evil local industrialist polluting prick (trade mark pending), to the terribly nice lady who thinks eating vegan will save the world.

By the way, it didn't.

So, 20 years young is the Bridge. It is still relevant. It is still very much a joy to read. It's a downer of a story that leaves you darkly exhilarated by the end.  Definitely read it. 

Monster of the Day: Fog Pirate Ghosts

Source:  The Fog
Location:  Off the coast of California...unless they are feeling frisky
Threat Assessment:  5.  They can't be killed.  They can fade in and out of the fog they reside in.  They are armed.
Limitations:  They stay in their fog which doesn't so much as slow them down but does act as an early warning.  Vengeful minded they stick to haunting the town that killed them. Like most ghosts they follow their own rules, in this case they attack only between midnight and one am. One wonders what they make of daylight savings time.

Today's Secret Code

"Many people give thanks for all the things they can complain about."  Again:  "Many people give thanks for all the things they can complain about."  Today's Colour is cranberry.  Today's Author would dance with the green fairy.  That is all, maho maho.

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Fire Knave

The Knave of Fire is not so brave
his is the fire that burns between walls
his is the fire burning in mines
his is the fire of the betraying heart
He capers and laughs but that's just his part
each bit of wit another actor's lines
Then he rips away his motley and calls
"Fie on you, you've been burned!" He will rave
and smile a true smile
The Knave of Fire is not so brave
but if left to burn none will be saved

I Know the Occupy Wall Street Crowd Is Getting Heated

... but this isn't what is meant when say you want someone FIRED

The Walking Dead in a Barn and Other Stupid Human Tricks

Well, "The Walking Dead," is making progress.  Less random wandering, less human stupidity on parade and more meaningful human interactions and plot.  It's far from perfect but it is lurching zombie like to something at least.  The episode starts with addressing one bit of stupidity.  Folks not knowing how to shoot a gun.  Now granted, there are only so many guns and so much ammo.  Also, the zombies are attracted to noise.  That being said, it doesn't take much to teach the basics like what that little safety button does, and how to point and aim a gun.  For example, holding the gun "gangster" style does NOT improve accuracy.

The only logical people to be excluded from learning how to hold a dang pistol are the kids and even there it's a bit iffy.  I learned to use and more importantly RESPECT guns at that age, but I guess it's up to the parents and when your parent is Lori and written as a drama queen yo yo it makes sense that Carl has been kept away from everything short of cap pistols.  That changed this episode but not without more arguing between Rick and Lori.  Sometimes I wonder if Rick ever thinks maybe he should have never left his coma.

Meanwhile, we discover that Glenn is really the very worst liar in the universe.  That's sort of a sweet character trait but it might be dangerous in the post zombie world.  It only took Glenn about three seconds to blurt out to Dale that there are zombies in the barn and Lori has a bun in the oven.  Being a great thinker, Dale goes over to the doctor to try to convince him that zombies in the barn are a bad idea.  This was doomed to failure because we aren't dealing with logic.  Hershel is dealing with his beliefs as a doctor and his guilt/loss of having family members in the barn that he's not willing to let go.   Men of such faith can become very dangerous if their beliefs are attacked.  Dale might have wanted to think that out a bit more.

Speaking of which, Dale might have wanted to think things through before confronting Shane.  If Hershel MIGHT be dangerous, we already know that shane is deep down fugged nuts crazy.  Let's just say that Dale better not find himself in a zombie race with Shane, or for that matter any event where there might be an "unfortunate accident."

Speaking of Shane, he helps teaches Andrea to shoot and they get caught in a zombie stampede.  Well, a zombie walkpede but these are still a bit faster than the first season zombies.   Andrea finds her special place and begins to dirty harry the living dead till they aren't feeling lucky at all.  I guess Shane is turned on by a lady with a gun and so suddenly they are making out like minks.

The big story is that Lori is preggers and she's dithering what to do.  She sends Glenn to get some morning after pills.  It should be noted that Glenn had no problems finding condoms but almost gets eaten by a zombie when searching for the morning after pills.  Message maybe?  Anyway, Rick finds out and he and his wife have a heart to heart.  Lori also mentions that since she wants to be free from secrets that she was sleeping with Shane.  To this Rick just basically says "Yeah, I guessed that and I'm not going to let it bother me."

This makes Rick a jerk in my book.  Maybe I would buy this from another character like Glenn, but this plays to well into Rick's Saint Rick schtick.  I mean yeah there were good reasons  why it happened, but just like with Hershel this isn't about reasons.  This isn't about logic.  Your wife has slept with your best friend and now you are going to have deal with that everyday.  I just don't buy that Rick can take this in without one hurtful word.  Now, Lori is just going to be eaten up with even more guilt over this whole things because Rick forgave her for everything.  I really don't like these two characters and frankly zombies could eat them both and I'd say bloody well done.

Things You Need To Know #3

There is an under used bus kiosk downtown.  It is between a Chinese bakery and a Russian sweatpants outlet.  On the inner wall there is a bit of moss.  Wipe it away and there carved into the wall is a ten digit number.  It could be either a telephone number or a bank account number.  If it is used as either some one's life will change forever and another person will disappear forever.

You needed to know this.

Monster of the Day: The Giant Claw

Source:  The Giant Claw
Location:  Once space, now flies over earth
Threat Assessment:  7.  Huge Giant bird with said claws and a gianormous beak.  Capable of space flight and flying faster than any Earth plane.  Also armed with an Anti matter shield.
Limitations:  Animal intelligence, and people can't stop laughing when they finally see the beast. 

Today's Secret Code:

"Turkey tastes so good that I wonder why there's no religion that bans eating it."  Again:  "Turkey tastes so good that I wonder why there's no religion that bans eating it."  Today's Colour would annoy a pilgrim.  Today's Author would have been stoned for a witch, but hey it would have been a fair cop.  That is all, maho maho.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Democidal Icons from the Icocendric Temple Have Been Unleashed

Things You Need To Know #2

There is a house on Hillmound. It has been deserted since anyone can remember. There is no documentation of when it was first built. The doors do not lock so anyone can go in. If you find your way to the master bedroom you will find a brass monkey made of glass. If you take it home and put it bed with you then the next day you will find it gone. You will also never suffer from any disease or ailment again. Unfortunately, your diseases or ailments that you would have suffered from will be inflicted upon a person you know by name.

Do not go back to the house if you take the monkey.

This was something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Spider Gremlin

Source:  Gremlins 2:  The New Batch
Location:  The Clamp Building, NYC
Threat Assessment:  4.  A large gremlin spider hybrid.  It can spin webs, has multiple limbs and is probablly venomous.
Limitation:  Easily distracted.

Today's Secret Code:

"Sleeping dogs do not lie save in dreams."  Again:  "Sleeping dogs do not lie save in dreams."  Today's Colour is infinitely reflected and refracted in the myriad drops of reign.  Today's Author has let all dreams beginning with rune "alarc" out and gave them free reign.  That is certifiably all, maho maho.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Automat der goldenen Könige von altem

Mariée des tombes

An Obscure Voodoo Loa
Mariee des tombes
is said to marry the dead
and woe to any that dishonor
her husbands

Ziegevolks and Hexenbiests and Grimms oh MY!!!

Last night on Grimm they went back to the creature of the week format. You wouldn't think there would be so many magical creatures in Portland. That could become a problem for the series in the future. It's the Kolchak phenomena (named after Carl Kolchak hero of the Night Stalker TV series) where the show starts losing suspension of disbelief with each new creature popping up in a relatively small geographical area. At least Buffy had the excuse of the Hellmouth. Either Nick is going to have to start moving around more, or they are going to have to step up the attempts against Nick's life if they want to keep this zoo growing.

Tonight's creature is called a Ziegevolk, or a bluebeard. I would call it fairly harmless since it doesn't seem to have an urge to kill people, except that its urge (even in the "nice" ones) is serial rape. This particular blue beard is running a bed and breakfast with an emphasis on "bed." He's going nutty for buddy even for his kind and has set up a caged harem in the basement. He gets Nick's attention because he killed a girl that escaped from him. Since Nick could clearly see his true form, the suspense is how Nick can justify what he knows with police procedure. This means a lot of following around snooping about. Nick even brings in pilate wolf to help out.

The only "myth building" part of tonight's show was that another Reaper came into town to cut Nick down. He's shown the door out of town for not knowing who runs the place and an ear short because you don't argue with the person who runs the place. This whole section is more hints than anything since why Nick is being protected is never stated.

Overall an average episode but it keeps the momentum going.

Goodbye Brave and the Bold

"The Brave and the Bold," did several things that will always cement it as one of my most beloved TV shows.  First, it was pure Batman love.  It wasn't just love for the dark gritty Batman, but a love of all things Batman even the silly things.  Only on Brave and the Bold would you see Batman wearing a different colored batsuit every day to foil a crazy plot, or be part of a crazy race where all the heroes and villains have theme cars. 

The second thing the show did was bring to TV some of the more obscure characters in the DC universe.  Only on the Brave and the Bold would you see Kamandi the Last Boy on Earth, or Detective Chimp.  It was fun to turn in every week because the cold open always meant you could never be sure who would show up in the first five minutes before they would go on to the main story.  They even made Aquaman cool, OUTRAGEOUS!

Now, the show did one other thing.  It had nearly the best last episode of any TV show.  I'm going to miss the show, but boy did it go out in style.  The Batmite decides that the show has literally jumped the shark and decides to speed up the process so that the network will go back to a dark and gritty Batman.  Using his reality changing powers Batmite soon has Batman saddled with a cute little daughter named Kiki and a Neon Orange Talking Luge with its own catch phrase-"Let's get low and gooooooooo."

The fiend!

As people turn off the show the only one who can help Batman is the fairly insane Ambush Bug.  In comics, the Ambush Bug started as an annoyance for Superman and then was morphed into a mad magazine style character making fun of all of DC.   Here, he is absolutely aware that they are in a fictional universe and are fictional characters.  So, knowing that if Batmite suceeds they will disappear he tries to fight all the crazy changes and bring the real Batman back.  It's not easy, at one point in a totally meta moment Batmite changes the voice actor doing Aquaman.

It all makes for wild fun, but then it gets very sincere at the end.  The bug finally convinces Batman that he is being manipulated by Batmite.  But that also means that Batman realizes he's fictional.  Suddenly he asks in seriously "...then why am I doing this?" With the help of the Bug, Batman understands why he is important to US the audience.  With that new purpose in mind he fights to stop the Batmite's plan. 

Batman fails.  In the end the suits decide to cancel the show.  With his new awareness though, Batman has a final cast party as the tear down the bat cave revealing it to be a set.  Then, he turns to us the audience and he gives a little speech telling us he will still be with us.  The end.

It was a brilliant show with a brilliant end. 

Monster of the Day: Ziegevolk

Source:  Grimm
Location:  First spotted in the Kitzbuhel Alps now generally where there is a night life
Threat Assessment:  5.  They have a powerful ability to emit mind controlling pheromones, they are also fast and able to leap extremely well in natural form.
Limitation:  These goat like beings would be very dangerous if they applied themselves.  But they aren't really interested in money or power.  They are more into their own biological urges and use their power to have a constant stream of sexual partners.

Today's Secret Code

"If life is like a TV show then Jesus TiVo me now!"  Again:  "If life is like a TV show then Jesus TiVo me now!"  Today's Colour is pixelicious!  Today's Author is looking for the screen writer.  Following the rabbit and that is all, maho maho.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Groggles

Groggles are psychic predators from the Neopaleonic Zone
Groggles are often tamed by gremlinoids
to hunt the big prey

There Is Something Fishy About This Crowd

Things You Need To Know #1

If you go to strawhill you will find an old pay phone. It does not work. It smells too, since the local street population use it as emergency shelter. Still, if you are there at midnight you might hear the phone ring. If you answer, a voice will ask for "Murphy." Say that Murphy isn't here but you'll take a message. Listen carefully, whatever he says you find very helpful. When he done hang up but do NOT put your finger into the coin slot.

This is something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Ludo

Source:  Labyrinth
Location:  Goblin Kingdom
Threat Assessment:  4.  Though slow to anger (and pretty much everything else)  Ludo could be very effective.  Besides being extremely strong, Ludo can command rocks to do his bidding because they are his friends.
Limitations:  Not bright, not fast, and really not very mean.  He's a sweetie actually.

Today's Secret Code:

"Long live the new flesh!"  Again:  "Long Live the new flesh!"  Today's Colour is inside the singularity.  Today's Author is still on the Event Horizon.  That is all, maho maho.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Some Ghosts Are Mysteries Best Not Delved Into

A Merroring Summoning

Merrorings are
spirits
and theologically amphibious
astrally hermaphable
and capable
of great
magic

Lucky

"Lucky" is one of those quirky little films.  You know, the type that show up at small film festivals.  That's not a bad thing, but you should know what you are getting into.  Like "The Perfect Host," those could have easily been a stage play.  It's very dialogue heavy and fairly set bound.  Again, not bad things but it does give you the feel for this film.

The plot is that a rather odd man wins the lottery.  He's very much a mother dominated figure and not very social.  Well, a quirky single girl who just got fired decides that he's marriage material.  Well at least his check is.  It seems the perfect plan, soon her and her uncooperative parrot will be rolling in money.


The problems is that first lottery money generally comes out in drips and they have over spent themselves to the point where buying food becomes an issue.  Worse, our quirky, eccentric, and rather unethical heroine discovers that hubby is a serial killer and there are several girls already planted into the ground.  She now is fending off a police detective and neighbors as she tries to keep her husband's secret.   At least till the next check comes in.

Over all a fun little film.  I liked it but wasn't overwhelmed by it.  I guess there's no sin in merely being whelmed.

When Real Life Gets More Freaky

Perhaps real life is over stating it, but some things passed over the news hopper that just seemed practically surreal to me.  One that just reached out and banged me on the head was about this drug being produced in Russia.  It's a heroin surrogate that can be made very cheaply in any kitchen and is incredibly addictive.  The bad news and the thing that freaked me out was that the drug has incredibly horrible side effects.  Those using it begin to have their skin become scaly.  Eventually the injection sites become infected and subject to gangrene and soon flesh is falling off the victims to the bones.  The life span of a user is generally under two years.  Drugs are generally considered a slow form of suicide, but I have never heard of such a drug that was so addictive and deadly at the same time.   As someone who sometimes write, I find myself thinking about these poor souls and how they must feel forcing themselves into a quicker and quicker death but unable to stop themselves. 

The more pragmatic part of my soul worries that this easy recipe of death and destruction will eventually come over to America.  Will we soon see rotting people on our streets?  A real world version of "The Walking Dead?"  I pray we won't have to find out.

Monster of the Day: Ricky the Hideous Freek

Source:  Freaked
Location:  Somewhere near Santa Flan
Threat Assessment:  3.  Super strong and near invulnerable but see below.
Limitations:  Not too bright, way too egotistical, and does not want to be a hideous mutant freak.



Today's Secret Code

"It's not worth it to call it in if you have to do it in binary."  Again:  "It's not worth it to call it in if you have to do it in binary."  There Today's can Colour be is codes right hidden before in your noise eyes.   Today's Codes Author and considers noise the are possible the beauty same in until secrecy studied.  That is all, maho maho.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

dancing russian men

Monster of the Day: Humanoids from the Deep

Source:  Humanoids from the Deep
Location:  Off the coast
Threat Asssessment:  4.  They are big, strong, and have claws and teeth. 
Limitation:  Fairly dumb and tend to think with their fishy gonads

Today's secret code:

"Let's all become magicians and leave wonder in their eyes."  Again:  "Let's all become mathematicians and leave the wonder in the Pi."  Today's Colour is oscillating symbolically.  Today's Author is osmosically cymballing.  That is all, maho maho.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Zelgan Pixy

A race of moderate technolgy
and consumate quantum gastromony
They look like living velvet paintings
But are good people regardless

The Blue Shade Denies Your Entry

She adds
"You are Uncouth
and breathing
come back
when you
stop doing both"

This Was Dubbed by Explorers "Shroud of the Negative Martian Madonna."

...just before the cave in that killed everyone of them
oddly even those outside the cave
and the poor fellow that was still in the lander
had a boulder in his head.
strange

The Assassination Game

Jean Claude Van Damme was the perfect unknowning joke of the eighties action hero. Stuck with an inability to act, and a thick accent, he also lacked the charm of another eighties hero who had the same limitations. Van Damme was the perfect storm of the eighties, a bad mish mashed monster of Ahnold and Seagal with the world's worst signature. Ahnold at least had a pithy line he'd sneak into his movies. Van Damme's signature was the ability to do the perfect splits. Yeah, that would fill me with pants wetting terror if I was some pony tail wearing eighties terrorist. "Looky there," I would say, "there's a man with no fear of being kicked in the balls."

Time has been no kinder to Van Damme than the critics. He might have had craggy good looks but they have eroded badly like a sea cliff. Luckily, or perhaps cunningly, Van Damme has found a picture that is perfect for him. In "The Assassination Game," he plays an alienated hitman who lives in the world's greatest secret apartment. He lives an alternate lifestyle where facial expressions are not required. On the other end of the spectruum is a young passionate hitman. He's not in the game anymore, but gets back in when the man who raped his wife is released by the authorities. Some of these authorities are corrupt interpol agents who lost a lot of money to the hip hitman and are hoping to draw him out.

All three forces converge at the same time. The results are a complete snafu. Van Damme manages to kill the scumwad's brother instead of his target. The Hip hitman almost shoots Van Damme in the head and is himself shot in the arm by the corrupt interpol agents. Obviously, this is not going to work as is so Hip hitman and Van Damme decide to work together even though they really don't trust each other.

Meanwhile, at the secret apartment, Van Damme gets a new neighbor. Some low level punk and drug dealer who is busy abusing his girlfriend. Van Damme would rather play the violin but eventually gets drawn into the drama. Can the girl open Van Damme's heart? Well she gets his turtle to poke out its head, and no that's not sexual metaphor.

The rest of the movie plays out between these two stories and it's no surprise that eventually Van Damme decides to join the human race after a fashion. As he says, "If you don't love anything, can you say you ever lived?" A nice sentiment from a film about blowing bigger holes in people, but I like it. The action was decent, Van Damme for once was well used (you can't say acting and Van Damme in the same sentence [oh wait I just did...oh well]), and it had the sweetest secret apartment ever. I'm getting one of those!

Monster of the Day: Gillman

Source:  Creature from the Black Lagoon
Location:  The Amazon
Threat Assessment:  5.  Very strong.  Tough.  Claws.  Amphibious.
Limitations.  Not bright.  Easily distracted by pretty things or ladies.

Today's Secret Code:

"Inside every living person is a dead person waiting patiently."  Again:  "Inside every living person is a dead person waiting patiently."  Today's Colour is in the morning glory.  Today's Author is still writing the story.  That is all, maho maho.

Monday, November 14, 2011

A Kachina At A Mall

Last Night On "Once Upon A Time," And "The Walking Dead."

Well "Once Upon A Time," finally came up with an episode that made me like the show. How could I not like Rumpelstiltskin blowing away a fairy godmother not five minutes into the show? It's obvious now that Rumpel is the real baddie of the show. The evil queen may be the mayor and all but it is Rumpel that brings the style and pizazz. He's very slick in the real world as a "modest" pawn broker. You don't ever quite believe his lies, but you are willing to listen to every word. The whole plot with Cinderella's baby actually pulled some real emotion out of Emma and made for an interesting scene where she tries to convince Cinderella to give up the child. Definitely the show can use a few more episodes like this.

The same could be said for last night's episode of "The Walking Dead." It had some actual good lines of dialog, less random walking, and actually advanced the plot a bit. There are still characters doing stupid things but mostly it was the characters who we naturally expect to do stupid things. Daryl steals the wrong horse, gets thrown and has a crisis in the woods. He comes out so bloodied that he looks like a zombie and gets shot by Andrea the nervous nelly with a gun. Luckily it was just a graze. Glenn is generally the smart one in the group but since he's on a hormonal roller coaster with wanting to get laid again I'll forgive some of the things he said. For some reason the end of the world by zombies has created a high school locker room environment. When a guy is wondering if all the girls are on their period, yeah that's a pretty dumb thing. Good thing at least he kept that theory to himself.

Best line: "We still have 11 condoms." "You see 11 condoms, I see 11 minutes from my life I'm not getting back."

Ouch.

Monster of the Day: Christine

Source:  Christine
Location:  In the garage
Threat Assessment:  5.  A car that can possess its driver, repair itself, and drive on its own.  It's not afraid to get dirty or beat up since it will just fix itself up again.
Limitation:  It's a car so stairs would be a problem.  Also it can be destroyed with enough force applied it....repeatedly.

Today's Secret Code

"Force is best used when not used at all."  Again:  "Force is best used when not used at all."  Today's Colour is zippy.  Today's Author used to read Ziggy.  He's sorry.  That is all, maho maho.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Priestess is Grounded in Etheric Energies

The Innsmouth Look as Seen On Ancient Egyptian Art

Rage of the Yeti

Bad on top of bad.  The CGI hurts my head to look at, and worst the designs of the Yeti are totally wrong.   They look like saber toothed polar bears with down syndrome.  Just a total whiff and a miss.

The Walking Dead Looting List

Here is a brief list of things to look for while looting. Stock up people, civilization is going on hiatus for quite a while.
  1. Bottle water and water purification tablets.
  2. Canned food.
  3. Toilet paper.
  4. Anything to make a fire.
  5. High proof alcohol.
  6. Pharmacetical drugs.
  7. Guns and reloading supplies.
  8. Camping gear and clothing.
  9. Books
  10. Batteries, batteries, batteries.

Films I Would Remake: Kingdom of the Spiders

A film I turn to as a "comfort film," something I can pop into the DVD player as I do some work. It is a great deal of fun and really could be improved by modern special effects.

The story is simple, Vet William Shatner is balancing his affections between his dead brother's wife and a sexy female scientist. Meanwhile tarantulas learn how to work and hunt together and start going for the big game including man. Soon folks are hold up in a bar/hotel fighting off spiders left and right.

Being set in Arizona I'd love to address some of the recent immigrant issues in the new version. In the old version the farmers first besieged by spiders were blacks.  I think I'd make them latino in this version.  I'd also mix up the spiders to include ones like black widows in with the tarantulas.  It would make the "spider hills" look truly scary.

The only question is who would I want for the William Shatner role.  It's a toughie.  If I want to go for realism I guess I'd want someone like Tommy Lee Jones.  On the other hand, I think John Goodman would be perfect for the role.  It's about time for a big man to have a love interest on film.  Also, you could believe he could take about 30 to 40 spider bites.  Oddly, the dark horse would be Jim Carrey.  He's been wanting to be taken seriously as a "serious" actor and I can see him actually doing a good job here.  At least better than in his "23" movie.

Monster of the Day: Rumpelstiltskin

Source:  Once Upon A Time
Location:  Maine
Threat Assessment:  5.  If he knows your true name he can have power over you.  He has mystical powers and can see the future.  Even under the Queen's curse he's a dangerous rogue.
Limitation:  Still under the Queen's Curse.

Today's Secret Code:

"Sometimes I don't know if I drank the water on the night stand or if I just dreamed I did.  Dare I look?"  Again:  "Sometimes I don't know if I drank the water on the night stand or if I just dreamed I did.  Dare I look?"  Today's Colour is a mystery.  Today's Author dreams of being Today's Author.  That is all, maho maho.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Magnoliquid Cyborg Araraxia

Araraxia can only form a human body
in strong magnetic fields
but in her glass chamber
she is otherwise fine
deaming dreams
in quantum
time

A Negative Shade

Some spirits are made of anti ectoplasm
it reacts oddly in darkness
and if it were to meet a standard spirit
an event occurs called
"The Rift Grin."

Aerial View of the Tycho Space Port

Tycho Space Port is always busy
but it can look serene from above
When Visiting the Space Port
be sure to stop at
Hoji's Waffle Shop

Last Night on Grimm

Well, the show is going deeper into its "mythology," and that's generally a good thing. Here, we are given hints that something very nasty is coming after our Grimm detective. Whatever it is, it's enough to scare a bee monster right out of its pollen. Let's hope it doesn't disappoint.

There's a brief ethical dilemma as our detective is forced into helping the ugly thing (a hexenbiest) that tried to kill his aunt and injected him with spider venom, or helping the bee thing who is a murderer but is murdering hexenbiests which might not be a bad thing at all. Obviously having the cop badge is both a blessing and a curse. It will be interesting to see what choices he'll have to make.

Oh, the one real dumb thing that happened last night was one of those things that if the character would think for three seconds it would have saved a lot of trouble. Look, if you open the door to a room and it's full of bees, and if you try to close the window the bees are coming in from and it won't close; then then answer is not to stay in the room while trying to keep closing a window that won't close. The logical thing to do is retreat. Then close the door to the room and stuff whatever you can into the door cracks. You will get stung a lot less. Trust me.

Last Night on Young Justice

An interesting episode. The team is no longer functioning well after everyone's virtual death last time. So Black Canary tries some therapy sessions. As you can imagine there's a lot of teen angst dredged up. Not everyone though is ready to deal with it. Black Canary tells Kid Flash that he's in denial and he glibly says "THAT I can deal with."

Speaking of not dealing, Super Boy does his usual bad boy thing of running off. Taking his pet, giant, mutated wolf and his alien sphere he joy rides around when his sphere becomes a bitchin' bike. That's when he runs into the Forever People. I love the Forever People, they are sort of a cross between hippies, superheroes, and demigods. They come from one of Jack Kirby's weirder phases. Luckily, being into peace and all they don't do the usual let's have a superhero on superhero fight. But they do join with Super Boy to fight Desaad and his evil Apokalypse technology. It all made for a fun little adventure in what would have otherwise been a downer episode. Also, it sets up a future meeting with Darkseid.

That should be interesting.

Green Lantern: The Animated Series

Well I was well prepared not to like this. I thought the movie was pretty much "meh," and that also sums up how I feel about the character of Green Lantern ala Hal Jordan. The animation looked craptastic and then I saw the main villains were going to be Red Lanterns. Red Lanterns! They are so close to a parody of nineties style super heroes that it hurts.

So given all that I was surprised to end up really liking it.  The animation is still craptastic, but it does have a fluidity to handle the battle scenes which helps a lot.  There are a lot of battle scenes!  They mix it up to between Lantern fighting and spaceship battles.  There were parts that just made me cheer like when Hal made a baseball bat with his ring and went to town on some red lantern whippersnapper. 

But a show should be more than a lot of cool fights, though I like me some cool fights don't get me wrong there.  Luckily, the writers here are operating at optimum levels.  They have obviously planned things for a long interesting story arc.   The first thing they did right is they isolated Hal from his little blue bosses who are the eternal kill joys.  Using and then breaking a one of a kind prototype of a green lantern ship they are now 18 months away from any help from the blue geeks of Oa.  They second smart thing was having Kilowog be Hal's wing (ring?) man.  Kilowog is huge alien with a nice sense of humor who keeps Hal from getting to puffed up. 

The even made the Red Lanterns interesting.  They are filled with righteous rage over something the green lanterns and their bosses did.  This is why they are literally burning with red energy and killing any green lantern they can find.  In the pilot, though, one of them has enough conscience to feel bad about blowing up a planet just to kill lanterns.  In the end, he tries to get Hal to kill him to put him out of his misery.  Of course Hal doensn't so it will be interesting to see what happens with that character.

Another thing that made for an enjoyable hour of TV was that there were some mini shorts included based on DC characters.  Nothing earth shattering, but a teen titan belch off was fairly funny.  I can say I definitely enjoyed the entire package and I'd watch it when it starts in 2012.

Monster of the Day: Hexenbiest

Source:  Grimm
Location:  Unfortunately all over
Threat Assessment:  4(?), Able to look like a normal human, hinted at having witch like powers, loyal and organized.
Limitation:  Very loyal.  Like other creatures in the Grimm verse can loose temper and control of their shape.

Note:  The thing with the coffee is a Hexenbiest

Today's Secret Code

"Shadows and spaces form substance in my mind's eye, how much more can be made from a single idea?"
Again:  "Shadows and spaces form substance in my mind's eye, how much more ca be made from a single idea?"  Today's Colour should be a revelation.  Today's Author should be concerned with the revolution.  Viva la all, maho maho.

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Brillman Incident

Hillary Brillman (34)
"she came from a book of stars
she is so terrible
worlds shake
but I could not refuse her...."

In 1963, Hillary and Anathema Brillman were returning home from a visit to their cousins in Vermount.  They were last seen at around 6:00 pm at a mom and pop gas station.  They did not reach home.  A very upset husband led a search.  They found the car, empty, that morning.  The two ladies would not be seen for another twenty three hours.  They were finally found in a tree hollow in a state searchers described as "hysterical."  They were sent to St. James Hospital for treatment of hypothermia.   While there they begged for paper and anything to draw with.  They each finished a drawing and after a brief cryptic statement they fell into a coma.

The comas lasted 23 months.  In that time several tumors were removed.  The nature of the turmors were not described.   When they finally awoke they had no memory.  Hillary Brillman lived two years in perfect health afterwards and then died of stroke.

Anathema Brillman grew up to be a lovely woman.  She married.  Had two children.  At the age of 34 she disappeared.  She left a note that said only, "...she is lonely still."

The Brillman case has never been closed.

Anathema Brillman (5)
"She was so lonely...."

The Mother of Knives

A Close Up Look at Cause of Biological Zombie Conversion (BZC)

The cause of BZC is a rather odd creature
it is a bacteria filled with prions
and a still not understood virus
It is in effect a huge trojan horse of biological horrors
Researchers call it "Stan"

The Child's Eye

Well this is an interesting Asian horror film. The main characters are basic horror fools. The main two are having relationship problems. The guy is a doofus and the girl is odd reading strange Asian occult books with tidbits like "Pregnant women shouldn't kill. A pregnant woman chopped chicken feet and her baby came out with web toes."

Oooooookay.....

Anyway they are Chinese and they are having a holiday in Thailand. Frankly I don't see the appeal of Thailand it seems to be the Alabama of Asia. Nevermind. Anyhooooo.... there's a big riot happening and the airports are closed. Unable to return to their posh hotel they take refuge in a bug infested local flop house. They are immediately creeped out by orphans and dogs that seem to see ghosts. But they stay anyway.

Now most horror protagonists have the survivability of soap fish but the main girl here takes the cake.  She does things like, "Hey there's a riot outside let's go outside and watch."  Yeah, never mind it's a riot, it's a riot in THAILAND and Thailand police are well noted for refined police brutality.  Two seconds into their tour they are tear gassed and a girl is seeing ghost ladies reaching for her.

Well, what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand I guess.  Turns out things are even more serious.  Soon all the guys are missing.  The owner of the Hotel is acting all Norman Batey and the Orphan Girl is telling them to take her dog to find the ghost and monster.  Monster?  Oh yeah there's a monster in the hotel.  There's a very interesting story too about how there got to be a monster in the hotel.  

But that would be telling.

Overall, it was a fairly successful Asian horror film.  It didn't insult my intelligence too much, and it kept some interesting suspense.  Not a four star enterprise but more than enough fun.

Inventor Hall of Fame: Pee Wee

Invention most known for: um.... makes an interesting breakfast

Greatest Limitation: um.... he's Pee Wee Herman

Great Thoughts: "I don't have see the movie. I lived it."

Monster of the Day: the Family

Source:  The Omega Man
Location:  Las Angeles
Threat Assessment:  4.  Just normal humans, but there are a lot of them and they are motivated.
Limitation:  Sick with plague, not mentally clear, and luddites so they don't pick up an uzi and go after the hero with it.

Today's Secret Code:

"Behind every wonderful wizard is a wicked witch?  Why?  Because ... because .... because...."  Again:  "Behind every wonderful wizard is a wicked witch?  Why?  Because ... because .... because...."   Today's Colour is emerald green.  Today's Author is seldom seen.  That is all, maho maho.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Cold Bride

She waits for husband
at -30 celsius
she will keep