STRANGE SPANNERS being an accounting of strangeness of the warp and woof of my mind For those of you new here, think of this as 1/2 "Night Gallery" Our Motto: Nos somnium quisnam es futurus fatum quod insolitus tutus vos!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Today's Secret Code:
"Ras wata ra A matcha nak ve nata ras dasa ma so ras lasa ma so=" Again: "The truth is a heady thing and can make wise man sing like drunks." Today's Colour is polypoidally platonic. Today's Author is Cthonically chronic. That is all, maho maho.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Yar
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| The Yar have no facial muscles for expressions so they use their hands to help show how they feel |
Stormtrooper Accountants
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| An army marches on its stomach and vittles costs credits the clone accountacy makes sure every credit counts twice sometimes |
Dead Noon
I've been critical of the Syfy channel's use of CGI. That's probably putting it lightly. But I have to say now that I have seen worse CGI. Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you "Dead Noon," aka "Dead on Arrival," "Dead Space," "Please Dear Lord Kill It With Fire."
First, we get an unlikeable banged up couple by a fire. It's story time boys and girls, as unlikeable man tells the girl a story. See, long ago in the old west there was an unlikeable sheriff (sensing a theme here gang?) who was in cahoots with an unlikeable outlaw. One day sheriff found his wife stepping out with the outlaw. So the sheriff goes and kills all the outlaw's no account friends and then kills the outlaw sending him to hell. Here we get the first good look at the wonderful special effects as the sheriff sets fire to the lynched corpses. The fire effect was like a green screen of a close up of a fire place superimposed on the poor extra hanging from the tree. It was "Birdemic" bad and that's saying a lot.
The outlaw goes to hell which is the worst green screen in all of creation and plays poker with the Devil. They talk some and bore more. Finally, the outlaw goes back to the world for a little vengeance. For some reason he's now in modern time. I guess they take their time when they play poker in hell, or maybe when they are just playing with pokers. A whole heap of unlikeable people are killed by unseen killers by bad CGI fire effects. This seems to last forever or at least a hand of cards in Hell.
Finally we are introduced to the new sheriff who's the great grandson of the sheriff that started this whole mess. He just got married and was going to his honeymoon so the film gets to rip off "High Noon" a little. The sheriff and his posse figure out they are dealing with undead scalawags and so its off to episodic showdown that clearly wanted to be epic. The film ends back with the story teller and his unfortunate twist. Now wake up.
Bad, horrible, wrong.
First, we get an unlikeable banged up couple by a fire. It's story time boys and girls, as unlikeable man tells the girl a story. See, long ago in the old west there was an unlikeable sheriff (sensing a theme here gang?) who was in cahoots with an unlikeable outlaw. One day sheriff found his wife stepping out with the outlaw. So the sheriff goes and kills all the outlaw's no account friends and then kills the outlaw sending him to hell. Here we get the first good look at the wonderful special effects as the sheriff sets fire to the lynched corpses. The fire effect was like a green screen of a close up of a fire place superimposed on the poor extra hanging from the tree. It was "Birdemic" bad and that's saying a lot.
The outlaw goes to hell which is the worst green screen in all of creation and plays poker with the Devil. They talk some and bore more. Finally, the outlaw goes back to the world for a little vengeance. For some reason he's now in modern time. I guess they take their time when they play poker in hell, or maybe when they are just playing with pokers. A whole heap of unlikeable people are killed by unseen killers by bad CGI fire effects. This seems to last forever or at least a hand of cards in Hell.
Finally we are introduced to the new sheriff who's the great grandson of the sheriff that started this whole mess. He just got married and was going to his honeymoon so the film gets to rip off "High Noon" a little. The sheriff and his posse figure out they are dealing with undead scalawags and so its off to episodic showdown that clearly wanted to be epic. The film ends back with the story teller and his unfortunate twist. Now wake up.
Bad, horrible, wrong.
Monster of the Day: Tommyknockers
Source: The Tommyknockers
Location: Maine and outer space
Threat Assessment: 5. They are an erratic threat. They are aliens with advance technology, but by human standards they are insane. They are also dead. Somehow, even dead they are dangerous slowly possessing people giving them the startling power to invent things.
Limitation: Insane and short sighted. Tied to their space ship.
Location: Maine and outer space
Threat Assessment: 5. They are an erratic threat. They are aliens with advance technology, but by human standards they are insane. They are also dead. Somehow, even dead they are dangerous slowly possessing people giving them the startling power to invent things.
Limitation: Insane and short sighted. Tied to their space ship.
Today's Secret Code:
The Author was sick and somewhat delirious, so he mistook his laptop for a poptart thus the lack of posts. Again: The Author was sick and somewhat delirious so he mistook his laptop for a poptart thus the lack of posts. Today's Colour is shade no one with a weakened belly should perceive. Today's Author is still ill and is thinking of watching "Kill Bill." That is all, maho maho.
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