Saturday, July 31, 2010
It's a small film, but it has some nice scary zing to it. I also like how it is clearly channels the film makers love and experiences with low budget film. For another view read Kaufman's "Make your own damn film" (Short form: shoot your nude scenes first and be prepared to having to poop in a paper bag). One bit I really enjoyed was when a romanian helper was pointing out he wasn't "Igor" but "Gregori" then went into the entire history of Igor in frankenstein films. My main problem with the film is that the main characters didn't engage enough for me, and that ultimately they didn't do enough with they gypsy origin of the curse. Still, better than most horror films of this level.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Let's get something out of the way. Yes, this is the film where the chick gets raped by the maggot. I remember when I was 15 and it was on HBO at 3 am, and I couldn't believe my eyes. Bonus points when you learn the poor actress' name is "Taffee."
The story begins at the edge of human space. A planet controlled by the "Planent Master," gets a report that a ship has been lost. The Planet Master (head glowing like Dormamu as he plays a sophisticated game that is half a step above pong with the old "seer" whom we never see again) orders a rescue mission. He tells his seer to leave because now he plays alone. Given the choice of an old hag or playing with myself, I'd do the same.
Our crew. Magnum P.I. (ok, not tom selleck but the man is WORKING that seventies porn 'stache!), Freddy Krueger (ok, just the actor Englund there are no finger knives), Captain Spaulding (ok, it's just Sid Haig, there's no clown make up), My Favorite Martian (Ok, Ray wise you got me there cowboys), Joanie (yes Joanie from happy days and no chachi to be seen!), grace zabraski, some dude who plays too much with his gun, some old dude who's supposedly leading the mission, scared wormy guy, and poor soon to be bewormed Taffee are our crew here. Really, try to get a more interesting crew for a sf film in this day in age.
The ship crashes into a mystery planet, with a mystery pyramid. Soon everyone is dying. Dying in pretty weird spectacular ways. Heads being torn off, giant flying leeches, and heads exploding. Really it's good clean fun.
Now to be honest, some of the characters are hoary, some of the lines are shaggy. There are bits when the film sags a bit. But I think over all, it still holds up well today. The pyramid is a very interesting structure, obviously stolen in bits and pieces from Alien but Corman is an honest thief. You knew going in there wasn't much orginality at work. But like good left overs it is something of a comfort dish. With exploded heads.
This is an excuse for someone to show off their flair for gore make up to so so effect. The special effects for the vampire motorcycle are also so so. Thankfully, so were the special effects for the talking turd. Note to film maker: The viewing audience is not clamoring for dream sequences of talking turds throwing themselves down the throats of people. Thank you.
If there is a saving grace to this film, it is that some of the actors are not TERRIBLY bad. The lead is personable enough and doesn't seem as thick as a brick as so many heroes in horror movies tend to be. The leader of the motorcycle gang is sort of filtering a "Fright Night" Evil Ed/Matthew Lilliard thing and that works. The priest chews the scenery rather nicely. All these fellows could certainly be in better films.
All in all "I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle," just shows the world isn't really ready for hybrids yet.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Well not really, things are never that simple. The characters were initiated into the Continuum a society of time travelers. The first thing you get, is the implant that allows you to travel through time and space. As Dr. Who would tell you, you need both as the earth is in constant motion in the universe. If you go back to next year, and don't have the ability to travel through space I certainly hope you can breath in a vacuum.
The other thing you get is the rules of your new society. See there is never a freebie, you get vast powers but are given rules so you don't abuse them. There's a reason. The continuum was created by those grey aliens. Those aliens aren't aliens, they are our descendants, and they get PISSY when their own origin is threatened. So they walled off a part of space time, and basically made it a nature perserve and we are the rangers. If we fail they come in and fix things, but they are not happy campers.
So why do things need to be fixed? Because not every time traveller is a happy member of the continuum. Some are narcissists who think they can change the universe if they try hard enough. This brings up the issue of paradox. Basically, in the game paradox happens when something you know to have happened changes. In cases of paradoxes the universe will "choose" the solution that will cause the least change to the universe as a whole which means that you could very likely become non existent if you get enough paradox or "frag" as they call it. Narcissists always believe they have a plan for dealing with their own paradox, but the Continuum insist they are just deluded individuals. So the fight continues.
To avoid fragging yourself, your future self will often not tell you things, also you are asked to record every journey in time you make in a diary. That's so you can remember, "Oh yeah I have to sometime go back to 1970 and tell myself not open that door." As long as you follow these simple rules you can avoid most grand father paradox.
The game had even more weirdness within like time travelling yeti, and vast empires of rogue time travellers in what we mostly consider prehistory, but you get the idea. I think the base ideas would make the perfect idea for a tv series.
Maybe in time
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Well it did. Pretty much soft core porn without out the great seventies soft focus and wah wah music. It is the story of an old man and his robot maid. He's had the maid since he was a child, and it always took care of him (in more ways than you want to think about). Now the maid's battery has nearly died and ther are no replacement parts, so she sits in the corner only able to talk to her Master. As he takes care of her now the neighborhood is plagued by a robot rapist and the police are confused because robots follow the three Asimov laws.
The story sounds more interesting than it is presented. Honestly I feel a bit dirty for watching this. Thank you Japan for making me lose another five points on my purity score.
Title that is engmatic? Check!
A story of very little real action? Check!
Semi annoying music by a "post punk" band? Check!
Enough 'quirkiness" to have it coming out your ear till the next film festival? Double Check!!
And here we are in independent filmland ladies and gentlemen. "All My Friends Are Funeral Singers," is not bad. It is however, a good checklist of all things that tend to haunt independent films in america. The worst offender is the quirkiness, I mean I like nonconventional characters and stories, but I don't like it pretty much SHOUTED WE ARE NONCONVENTIONAL CHARACTERS AND THIS IS A QUIRKY STORY. If you get my meaning.
Speaking of story, this is the story of a psychic trying to make a living with the help of all the ghosts filling her house. She has so many ghosts that she has to put salt along her bedroom door to keep them out. The Ghosts themselves want to go into the light but can't and until then interview each other and play slide guitar. There's also a little girl ghost who seems to do most of the work in the being psychic department but doesn't talk.
So can our lady reach some accord with her ghostly guests? Can our ghosts go into the light? What is it with the little girl ghost? It is actually a decent story, sort of "Ghost" with out his holiness The Patrick. Some of the hoodoo details are pretty interesting. Also, while I kid the moniker of "post punk" (about a useful a phrase as "post modern art") the music isn't so bad when it's not being shouted out as QUIRKY.
So if you are into the independent scene it is worth a look. If like a good little ghost story, well it's not the best but it has interesting points. So there you go, and now I'll go play my slide guitar.
The title says it all here. Our hero accidently sees a mermaid and to save her life because mermaid law prohibits anyone seeing a mermaid he agrees to marry her. Oh, it should be mentioned these are YAKUZA mermaids, so daddy is a bit... extreme. Her mommy is all for it, and is like, well why aren't you already getting it on with my daughter, what's wrong with you. Our hero's parents don't care as long as all the damages are paid in gold coins. Oh, and there is a tiny girl in a shell who is homocidal, our hero's old girl friend (not girlfriend) who is the queen of school discipline, and the chief aide of the merman yakuza boss who is so beautiful he bewitches everyone regardless of their particular gender identity.
Oh and our mermaid grows her tail back anytime her legs get wet. So this gets into all sorts of "wacky" fun. It's not bad really, but I've seen it before better. I like the intro song in that it is done surf style rather than the usual idol singer style. Sort of fun, if you are an anime nut check it out!
Monday, July 26, 2010
For now though, let's look at conflict. Conflict is of course the meat of the story. You can have the neatest character and if you don't have any conflict then you'll have bumpkiss. This is why it sucks so much to be in a soap opera or comic book; that character will always be tossed hither and yon to the winds of fate and if he finally gets the girl its only because the writer has decided the girl is going to die of cancer, be a guy, or an alien. Sometimes an alien guy who dies of cancer, but that's rare.
The main conflict here as I see it is very clear. It is the character versus his base nature. Unless one is bat shit crazy no one wants to hurt others (Mondays excepted of course), so there is an inherent conflict in stealing the life from people just to fuel your own selfish needs. Our character here might want to fight against his addiction as it becomes clear what the costs are to his very soul. One thing I like about my concept is that it's possible to actually stop being a vampire, our character can take back his boring old morality. So there is a real choice for the character to make. I would want to be careful here. It's too easy to get into an emo, teenage, self pity spiral in this type of conflict. I would want it more "Trainspotting" and less "Silver Surfer."
The next level of conflict as I see it is between mentor and student. From how I set it up, it's obvious to me that the story should at least for a small part deal with character's learning about his new world. A mentor/student relation can be very rocky in the best of circumstances, and these are far from ideal. Why did his mentor pick him? How will he keep our character under his thumb? Also, given their natures, can two alpha predators share the same hunting ground for any length of time. Again, here I want to be careful not to imbue this relationship with too much angst, and I certainly don't want anything romantic for this one.
From the mentor we come to the rest of the vampires. How often do they interact with each other, if at all? How will they react to our new character? I have to think on this part more. I certain think it should be a wary friendliness. I think there should be secrets. Will have to think on this some more.
Now, we have the conflict between our character and his "food." Unless mentally influenced by the vampire, or mentally unstable, no one is going to volunteer for giving even a little of their life force to the vampire. That means our character is going to have to take it either by being agressively physical or by mind games. One thing that I wonder about is can a vampire resist "Playing" with his food. I mean you have the power to mentally influence others, wouldn't you want to see how far you can push it? Didn't you have a special person that you thought, "If only I could make him/her look at me like I meant something." I have a feeling every vampire has tried this, and I have a feeling there is a distinct point where if you aren't careful (and who would be?) you could "break" your new toy. I like this idea; it's horrible, mean and wicked and would be perfect for the story. It could be the fulcrum of the other conflicts. Our character could wake up a vampire, be taught all the rules, and for a bit likes it. Then he wants the affections of X, he tries the vampire mind games and even though warned by others that it just will never work, he continues. He pushes and pushes, and boom, X is now a broken doll. The illusion that he can live this life without causing others undue suffering is shattered, and then all the other conflicts rise up.
As an aside: For an author who treats his characters so meanly you can't get better than Stephen R. Donaldson. What he does with the "Into the Gap" series shouldn't be done to a dog, but it does make for good fiction!
The next level of conflict would be those in active opposition to the vampires. I don't know about this. Vampire hunters are so hoary a cliche. The only thing I can think of to liven it up for this story would be that they are all ex-vampires. I could work with that, instead of killing vampires they want to catch them, immerse them in running water to get rid of the life force, then tie them down and make them go through cold vampire turkey. Basically, it would just be going from one cult to another, but at least that's a bit more intersting than van hellsing around.
Anyway, what do you think?
Sunday, July 25, 2010
- Vampires need blood: My vampires don't need blood, but they want the life force of others. Blood is just the most convenient way of transferring that energy. Some of the more gifted (perverse?) vampires have found other ways of taking the life force.
- Vampires don't age: Conditionally true. Vampires can use the life force of others to halt the aging process in themselves. It is a very minimal expenditure, so most do it.
- Vampires are very strong: Again, if they wish to use the lifeforce they steal then they can become very strong. This is a greater use of the life force though, and so they avoid doing so except in life or death circumstances.
- Vampires don't need to eat or drink. Conditionally true. Vampires can live off the life force. Most do so because if they eat or drink and then enter their death state, then that food is basically rotting inside them. The results when they return to life... isn't pretty. Most vampires teach their students to purge themselves if they eat anything before dying.
- Vampires and the sun. Ok, here I make a rather arbitrary ruling, but I hate the idea of vampires merrily dancing in the sunlight. They are creatures of darkness, right? So, I'm going to say that the stolen life force is a bit more fragile than the native life force of a being. The sun won't kill a vampire but it will cause their stolen life force to fade quickly. So, if you spent all night sucking blood then you don't want to go out and get a tan. So vampires COULD make an errand or two during the day, but they wouldn't want to.
- Vampires and running water: For a similar reason a vampire doesn't want to be immersed in running watter or even a heavy rain. The water "shorts" the life force away from them. On the other hand they can cross running water without a problem.
- Vampires and stakes. Any physical damage a vampire receives can be healed via their life force. However, some damage takes a lot more life force than others to heal. A stake to the heart takes a LOT of life. So, it is probably any vampire hunter has seen a vampire tragically run out of the needed life force before fully healing. Thus the legend.
- Beheading. Beheading on the other hand will stop all the vampire nonsense utterly. It breaks the needed alchemical link between the heart and mind that allows the life force to work. Break the chain and it is the end. Anyone see high lander?
- Burning. Yep, ain't getting out of that.
- Coffins. Aren't needed. But vampires do tend to put their bodies in safe places.
- Garlic. Yes please.
- Holy symbols. No, a vampire is not automatically repulsed by a holy symbol. Most vampires don't like them though. Being creatures very familiar with death they have a little more concrete, objective knowledge of the afterlife and there are other reasons they don't want to fully die. Finally some people can with great faith and concentration use their own life force against a vampire, that these people often use holy symbols as a focus doesn't make them any more popular.
- Shapechanging. No, for the most part a vampire can't change their shape. Maybe some modification in how their human body looks, but that takes so much life force that it is silly.
- Death State. The holy grail to my vampires. Mostly, they just want to lie there and enjoy the "death high." But it is here that they are also the most powerful. Firstly, they can leave their dead body and let their astral body roam around. That means they can see things without being seen at all. They can hear to but since sound is a physical medium they have to concentrate (expend life force) to hear. But, if they do all their senses in this state are at a supernatural level. Also, they can sense the thoughts and feelings of others in this state.
- Being seen. A vampire can expend life to have their astral state seen and heard by the living. When in this state the vampire will not show up on film, or any media (they aren't physically there after all), they can also more easily change how they look in this state becoming beastial or insanely beautiful.
- Influencing. A vampire can expend even more life and begin to influence the thoughts and feelings of the living. This is how they cultivate many of those they steal life from. It is a nasty, painful process. But with the right influence before hand a victim will willingly swoon into the vampire's arm. This is the vampire's basic hunting tool.
- Touching. With even more use of life force a vampire can interact with the physical world of the living. In such a state they are nearly invulnerable. It is a great use of life force though, so rarely used.
So this is my basic rules for my vampires. Do they sound interesting? I would like to know!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
This is fast pace and fun. I love the little details like the piano for horses (the keys are on the ground!). The characters are broad but drawn in fun ways. It's like a children's book written with a wink and a nod to grown ups. Truly a fun thing. It's subtitled, but I also liked it without the subtitles and I could make up what they were saying.
He woke up, but he didn't. There wasn't that sense of rising from
slumber. He just suddenly was conscious. For a moment he did
nothing. The moment stretched, and stretched. He should be scared,
he remembered last Montelanche's attack, those fingers around his throat.
His throat? He wanted to touch it, but more he suddenly realized he wanted
to breath. He wasn't. He hadn't since he awoke he realized.
"I'm dead," he thought to himself. He was suprised that there was no
emotional punch to that thought. It wasn't just shock, though he was sure
he was in shock. The honest truth is he felt too good at the moment to
really, really care. He had done his share of drugs, the little drugs that
everyone does not the dangerous type, and he had never ever felt this
"Being dead gets you high," he thought and wanted to giggle. Mostly
though he just wanted drift in this state. So he did.
Time passed, he was sure of that. When next he focused he realized he
was looking at Montelanche's face. There was a smile upon his pinched up
little face and in his current state he was willing to forgive Montelanche for
looking like a constipated mouse.
"You killed me," he told Montelanche in the matter of fact tone of a five
"Yes," Montelanche said in his usual mournful tones, "yes I killed you, and
if you listen to me you can die like this every night for as near as forever as
any being can stand. Would you like that, Jerry?"
He didn't remember saying yes, but yes would have been his answer.
Montlanche smile, widened.
Friday, July 23, 2010
So, I was thinking of vampires (yes I often think of things that hopefully don't exist, don't you?), and a new angle did strike me. It doesn't seem all that new at first blush: Vampire as addict. We've seen this before haven't we? The vampire needing his hemo fix so badly. I can throw a stone at least a dozen films that has this at least as a subtext. So what's new about my take then?
It's not blood to which they are addicted. Blood is just their means to what they really want. What they will kill for. They are addicted to dying.
I like this and I work out the details. That what they are taking is life, either a little or all of it. Blood is just a convenient vessel of transfer. They use that stolen life to be able to die and to come back. Questions grow as I think about it:
- What's so addictive about death?
- If blood is just a convenient vessel can they take life in other ways?
- What about the other bits of vampire lore can I fit them in?
- Can the vampire use this stolen life for other things, would they want to?
- Why would the vampire make other people into death junkies? Do they have a choice?
Given enough time I can come up with a pretty interesting tale. At least I hope I could. What do you think dear readers? Do you have any interesting ideas regarding the undead? Do you have any possible answers to the questions I have posed? An enquiring mind wants to know.
Back? Good you can join the rest of us then. Now "Audrey's Door," is a haunted house novel that could be the daughter of "The Haunting of Hill House." Both are able a woman of dubious stability who just want to escape. Unfortunately they escape to a bad place. It might be haunted, it might not, but what it truly is is wrong.
In Audrey's case she runs to the Breviary. The Breviary is the last remaining example of Chaotic Naturalism which wasn't just architecture but a cult. Within the Breviary still resides the rich, mad, inbred children of the original owns. Those children that have not yet committed suicide that is. The Breviary seems to induce that in its tenents.
Audrey is running from her past. Having lived her life with a mother afflicted with mental illness, she doesn't feel so well either. Pathologically shy and suffering from OCD she tries to make something of herself as architect. It is her passion for architecture that first drew her to the Breviary, well that and criminally cheap rent. But really she is running, not just from her past with her mother but her possible future with the first man to have loved her.
You know a person with OCD shouldn't go into a regular haunted house. It's just too easy. The ghost rearranges your closet ten or twelve times and you'd have a raging psychotic fit. The Breviary as I pointed out is not the normal haunted house, so we are very concerned for our Audrey.
Specially when the house tells her to build a door.
Read this please. It is good, vibrant, sometimes funny, and darkly frightening and unsettling. I liked it very well and will put it on shelf next to Shirley Jackson. I will also seek out other books by Sarah Langan, if they don't seek me first.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Being Human is an excellent comedy/drama series from Britain that sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. "A werewolf, a vampire and a ghost all become roommates. There are moments of comedy but mostly its a drama of three people trying to find themselves and hoping that they are ultimately human.
The Character I like most from the start is George. He's uptight, a bit nerdy, and now a werewolf. These things do not go easily together. He's constantly on edge, and is the one who most wants to be "Normal." The vampire is the main plot spring for the first season at least as the other vampires seem to be plotting something and are not. nice. at. all. Our ghost is at first the most passive of the three and gets on their nerves a bit for constantly making tea (even though she doesn't of course drink tea), but gets more interesting as her past is revealed.
This show is a joy to watch and reminds me somewhat of the Buffyverse but a bit more realistically grounded, if you can use realism while discussing a werewolf, a vampire, and a ghost. By the way they handle such diverent characters I sort of wish that the creators of "Being Human," would try their hand with "The Baby, the Immigrant, and the Guy on Mushrooms."
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
That damnable stone
I put it up
carved the words with a pistol barrel
took some time
Give me drink
I'm a weak man
the baby's mother
She was strong
Held that baby
as it died in her arms
that there mister
is the weight of the world
Thank you thank you
I needed that drink
I need it cause drinking
stops me from thinking
of her tiny fever cry
and fever eyes wound shut
and bright red fever cheeks
oh god she did stink of it
Maybe she shouldn't have been born
the babe of a weak man
and a strong woman
in god's nowhere
But I loved her mother
and contrarily she loved me
she's now buried yonder
down row three
God I wish I had never loved
Good God I wish it would have never ended
Now too weak for heaven
bound for hell
Give me the rest of the bottle
you've had your fill
and I'm empty
OK, um how's this:
"They're tiny, they're tuney"
"Marvel's heroes are a little loony."
"Marvel babies, making their dreams come true..."
no... ok how about we do a super deformed version of marvel characters and have them act sort of like teen age mutant ninja turtles and give them this broad over arching quest as an excuse for superhero fights and the silver surfer to say "Cowabunga?"
Brilliant, just brilliant.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I really love Roald Dahl. I love stop motion style animation. I have a certain fondness for George Clooney. I have...I don't know what I have about Wes Anderson. I really love "The Life Aquatic," but some of his other films I find far more annoying than anything. Wes Anderson has that annoying sort of self knowing that knows you know his knowingness. It's that sort of meta thing that can just form a feedback loop from here to the nearest non starbuck coffee house.
Luckily Wes keeps it mostly in check in this film, and Dahl's story keeps it sharper edge. It is enjoyable and certainly very unique. In this day of dreamworks animation that can mean a lot. I don't think young kids would be comfortable watching this, when the animals actually act animalistic at points might not sit well and some of the rambling scenes would bore them. Luckily I don't have any kids, so to heck with 'em.
One completely off the mark sidenote: This may be the best film ever by a director that supposedly literally "called it in." The story is Wes didn't really understand nor had the patience for watching animation being done, so he stayed in Paris and would daily call London and tell them "his vision," and the animators were able to pull it off without a hitch.
One really nice thing about writing fantasy or science fiction is that one can revisit the myths of old and give them new twists, or just steal a good story for your own needs. Either way, it can work out to be great fun. Here we have the fourth doctor, Tom Baker, foiling a vile alien who just happens to live in a maze and just happens to have bullish features. The story pretty much follows the line of the myths of old, with the additions of black holes, zap guns, and of course the Doctor.
One thing I love about the fourth Doctor stories are his companions. Not just the usual bunch of Doctor groupies along for the ride, they tended to be very capable characters in their own right. I've always enjoyed Romana most of all. Being a fellow Time Lord she could double speak techgoop as good as the Doctor, and she looked really good doing it.
Red Garden is about the whiniest anime I've had to see in some time.
It's rather odd really, the beginning is so upbeat. Some up tempo jazz, flowers, dancing, it all looks like a big ol' party. I figure that's either the creators trying to get all ironic and that, or they were hoping to to attract viewers with bright colours and the lie of "come and watch we are safe, it's a happy place."
So, not the happy. What we do get is four whiney teenage girls. They are given reason to whine see because they are dead. Well, not really dead, but they did die sort of. Now some rich ice princess with pony tale has control of them. When ever they see a pretty butterfly they have to take to the street and fight businessmen who turn to demonic killing machines. All this is just a big excuse for "Whine, whine whine, life is so unfair. Whine, whine, whine, I'm dead."
I had to take a couple of asprin after this experience and really the only thing I found interesting was the jazz song at the begining and some of the animation designs. Other than that, I wasn't impressed.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Our main character is a cop who did something to get him exiled here. The locals don't like or trust him. There's a girl though who he becomes very attracted to. She's married to an abusive man, or at least that's what she said. Her husband shows his scar that he says he got when she stabbed him with a butter knife. So who's telling the truth? What is the truth? The movie takes it time telling a tale set in nowhere.
This is a wonderful film, the quirky elements are kept in control so you don't get a "Twin Peaks" feel. What you do feel is that feeling you get when you stopped at that town for gas once and everyone seemed to be looking at you. It reminded me of a european version of a Cohen brother's film, and it's definitely something to see.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
and no one hears the screams
Day and night if there was a day
They ride the NEFARIOUS WHEEL!
Did it matter if they choose a side?
Did it matter the contents of their dreams?
No. The King of Dark is the King of Fay
and all he enjoys are their fates now
See there's this crazed, killer hypnotist chained next door. Though having never been near her somehow he's got psychic claws in her. So soon a possessed sleeping beauty is doing very naughty things, and of course you know killer hypnotist guy is going to get out. It is all getting very bad for our hero, can there be a happily ever after?
Beyond the premise, I like the actors. They make the most of their rolls, specially our sleeping beauty who really communicates who alien she is to our world. There are also some impressive dream sequences where our villain exerts control over fair damsel in distress. Overall, certainly a good low budget effort. I was never bored!
Syfy once again downed itself with "Goblin." A town is cursed and every halloween a goblin like thing terrorizes everyone, specially if you happen to have a baby, aka yard ape, with you. It tries for some personality by the cast but it is undone by haphazard pacing and just a bad creature effect. Really folks I don't understand it, the creature is human sized, and human shaped. Why bother with cheap craptastic CGI to make this wonder? No one ever heard of make up? Stan Winston? Ok, stan's dead but you get the idea. IF you are going to continuously do CGIwtf effects why not change up the looks? At least it would be interesting to render a Goblin ala say cubism.
While no doubt it will be as equally sucktastical, I do want to see "Sharktopus" when it comes out. I want to see a half shark, half octopus monster. Really. That's it. I'm easy.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
In the story Phenix City is a small town next to a larger town and more importantly an army base. For nearly a century the machine in Phenix City has been devoted to shaving off any spare cash of the army lads who come over to 14th street. Fixed gambling, and loose girls, and if you don't like it, then to the river with you chump. Our heroes are an old lawyer who just wants to be left alone, and his son who just came back from the war and is used to fighting evil. Maybe too used to it, as he seems eager to embrace the fight than the peace with his wife.
Truly a movie of small town evil writ large. The machine fights against our heroes tooth and nail, even to the point of dumping a dead black girl on their lawn. This leads to the films two best /worst lines. From the police: "Some one dumped a dead N--------- girl on their lawn, go look into it." and later on trial the killer said "I like N-------- as long as they are dead." Truly a snapshot of an ugly time in an ugly place.
"Dial 1119" is a bit more conventional but still interesting. An escape mental patient takes a bar hostage as his shrink and the cop that originally nabbed him argue over him and the larger social issues. Forget about the shrink and cop as that is all "Law & Order" bs, I love the barflies being held hostage. From the floosie, to the wormy guy trying to hit on the brainy and chaste coworker it is a lovely character piece and each actor shines their flaws till they gleam. I love the bartender "Chuckles," and was really sorry to see him get wasted. A nice bit of film noir that shouldn't be lost.
The Demon in question has been haunting him since childhood. Now it has begun to possess the sister of his dead wife. Can our hard drinking, shotgun shooting, ex preacher get it together? Can he reconcil with his past? With his father? Can he cast out the demon? Is there a darker secret?
All is answered in time dear Pilgrims. The problem is it a bit of a slog to get there. This film has heart but it needed a bit more muscle tone. So, I'd say this is for only folks really interested in the low budget horror field that aren't hoping for gore jamboree.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
"Crime in the Streets," belong to that fifties genre of "trouble youths," or if you are in the bronx "youts." A small gangs of 'boys' (most are old enough not only to shave but vote for wilson) trouble the local neighborhood. A saintly social worker tries to get them to turn around before the inevitable murder. My favorite line from a concerned father, "You are too old for me to beat you now." Paging Dr. Spock! Great stuff and fantastically photographed. They just don't light people this way any more.
Both are well worth a watch!
This is a lesser part of his saga but fun none the less. The tardis finds itself on the arse end of the universe where they suprisingly find both a space ship and a nebula. The space ship has been on a 100,000 year quest and since the people on it were sort of screwed by the time lords (all a misunderstanding) the Doctor decides to give a hand. It turns out that inside the nebula is a new born planet, and inside that planet is the end of their quest. There are slaves to be freed and plenty of cliff hangers. It is all great fun!
I just smile and say, "yes."
"If you manage this miracle of theft, just how much do you think you should be your take?"
"All of it, every red cent."
An eyebrow raised.
"All? Why should we let you take all of our money?"
"Because it is not your money now. It is federal evidence. If said evidence disappeared it will make a series of court cases against friends of yours go very easy. In the end you not only win in the courts, but on the streets because everyone will know you had it done. For that it will be will worth the extra money you give me to see this done. You wouldn't want the money back anyway, since if it is ever traced back to you then the original shit storm comes back now as a shit tornado."
He was silent for a moment.
Then he nods.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Our heroes in this world is one very cute bureaucrat and one very moody tactical socerer sans license. Basically he doesn't have a license cause he has a mysterious past, tends to go all overkill with collateral damage, and by george he's a moody loner so he doesn't need a license, a badge or even a badger. Of course these two forces get together and along with a young "half demon" girl make the world safe for BP style magic. Hooray.
Now I did like some of the designs, I think a mystic Iron Man frankly rocks. I did NOT like the designs of the monster. They were just silly, think of ten thousand pounds of fat on two itty bitty legs. Yeah, that works. I will say it was rather interesting that each monster tended to spout its own nonsense phrase. There is something more sinister about being strangled as someone keeps screaming "ARE YOU HAPPY ARE YOU HAPPY ARE YOU?" Overall, however, this is just the same old same old. There's really nothing to recommend it.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Now this is much more like it. This is one reason I watch japanese cinema, out and out silliness! Students are asked to join an "ordinary" club. Repeat, an ordinary club, nothing special here, just ordinary, so very ordinary, did we mention we are ordinary? HA! We all know not to trust anyone that says they are just "ordinary" and are we right. Turns out said club is part of a century old institution where rival schools battle using itty, bitty, cute oni spirits. There is much more of course, as an epic love triangle forms causing the Gods who watch over Harumo to become angry. Can the city be saved, and more importantly can the guy get the girl?
This is all wonderful fluff! The oni are super cute even when they did and fly up like little cartoon characters. I wish we had the same sort of humor to make a film with cute little battling demons or angels. One thing that I never got tired of is one of the characters looked oh so unfortunately like "Edna Mole" of "The Incredibles." She just lights up the screen every time she pops up. This is certainly worth a watch!
That being on the record now, "Children's Hospital" is indeed very funny. It is a list of all the cliches of medical shows (I'm looking at you ER) rolled around in a light gel cap of dead pan humor. That one of the main doctors is running around in clown makeup and bloody scrubs without any remark just adds to the healing power of this comedy. Plot wise it is mostly how the doctors don't care for the patients and are more concerned with their sex lives, so really it is a slice of life.
Special bonus points go out for that is ten times more coherent than the average adult swim show, so someone at some point had to put down the bong. Good work there boys. Double points for the line, "I want to jump her clumsy vagina." Quadtriple points for the bonus ad for an upcoming show.