Sunday, December 2, 2012

Libriomancer and the Things I'd Take Out of Books

Libriomancer is a fun little book that strokes geek greed to insane degrees.  Our hero is one of the few people in the world who know how to do the arcane art of libriomancy which was first created by Gutenberg who's still around by the way.  The act is simple the libriomancer really gets into reading a book.  Later he can use that book as a portal and reach in and pull out anything that can come out of a portal the size of the book.  Later on the libriomancer is encouraged to put the booty back cause it tends to cause cracks in the universe.  The libriomancers consider themselves a force of good using their magic to protect us from things like vampires and to keep magic a secret.

Our hero might disagree with them but that's cause he's been put on short leash and made to promise not to do any more magic.  Instead he's stuck in a library cataloging books with either good booty or potential problems.  Suddenly a gang of glittery vampires (vampires come from books too and each series has its own species) gets up in his grill and he's about to be fang bait except for the help of a kung fu dyrad (don't ask long story).  After that he learns someone has kidnapped Gutenberg and his most powerful magic devices and is starting a war between vampires and libriomancers.  So our hero with a bunch of SF paperbacks and his helpful fire spider goes back into the field to save the day. 

I quite liked the book and I really love the idea of libriomancy.  Which got me thinking of what would I take out of the book.  Now remember the first rule is it has  to fit through the book so that rules out time travelling deloreans.   The second rule is generally anything sentient that comes through is driven barking mad so you better hold off before getting Aladdin's lamp.  Finally, not a rule but a condition of the art is not everything you can get you can use.  For example, Thor's hammer in the comic books (which of course are bound into graphic novel format) can only be lifted by Thor.  So it's not going to do you any good.  With all that in mind here is my list.

1)  Babel fish.  The hero in the book used them and it's a good idea.  Apparently either the fish doesn't have enough brain power to activate the second rule or a mad fish in your ear isn't going to do you any harm.  The great thing about babel fish is that they are instant translators so I'll always know what's going on.

2)  Psychic paper.  Almost as much fun as a TARDIS.  Psychic paper will let me pretend to be part of nearly any organization or have that last minute invite to the party.  Saves a lot of fights.

3)  The Love Magnet.  From the Wizard of Oz series.  It makes people look upon you with a most favorable light.  Again, why fight?

4)  Star Trek Phaser.  Well if you got to this is a great go to weapon to end a fight.  Has a great battery life.  Variable settings such a stun or kill.  It also doesn't have annoying technology that makes it a one person gun like the guns in Logan's Run.

5)  Cold Stick from Logan's Run.  On the other hand they had this cute little club that also freezes what it hits.  We have a lot of things to cause fire but few things I can carry around to cool my favorite soft drink.

6)  The Mandarian's rings.  Sort of a cheat here since there are ten rings, but I'm considering them a set.  Each ring has a different function such as matter disintergration.  Not only blinging but useful.

7)  Star Trek's cartoon life support belt.   Small enough to be worn under your clothes when you want not be conspicuous, but when you need what amounts to an instant space suit it's there for you at the touch of a button.  By the way there are novelizations from these toons so it won't be hard to find as long you can reach a second hand bookstore.

8)  Staff of Long Enough.  There are many versions of this from Dragonball to more traditional fantasy novels.  It's a staff that can shrink or grow to nearly any size.  Put it in your pocket for that rainy day.

9)  From D&D a Bag of Holding.  Nothing can be finer than having something to put the stuff you find in.  Perhaps not the most stylish but it gets the job done and barely weighs a thing even when full.

10)  Also from D&D a magic coin purse.  An odd choice but hear me out.  Everyday you open it and it has some copper, silver, and one or two gold coins.  Enough so you don't starve in the D&D world but not enough to get silly with.  Now here the currency itself is useless but melt down those gold and silver coins and you'd never have to work again given gold prices.

So what would you take out of a book?

1 comment:

  1. That list will take more time than I have right now...I will revisit!