Monday, September 12, 2011

Jabberwock

WEll the "good" people behind syfy's Saturday "movie" must have ran out of entries in their yellowed copy of the Monster Manual. So now they ploundered Lewis Carol's poem "Jabberwocky." I had a brief hope of maybe some interesting Alice inspired weirdness. Afterall, their miniseries division has made some mileage out of both "Alice in Wonderland" in "Alice," and "The Wizard of Oz," in "Tinman."

Alas, no. The first shot of generic middle ages europe set the dull grime pace of the film. People we don't care about watch the birth of the Jabberwock which is a big ugly flying dragon thing. Besidesy eating people it threatens to reduces the area to lifeless waste. Sort of like the writing rooms in the Syfy office. Anyway the wayward son of the local Blacksmith must make the weapons and traps to stop the beast, save the fair maid, and redeem himself in his father's eyes.

You know boring this film was? It was so boring the most interesting thing that struck me was that the swords were actually the swords used by the Roman Legion not swords of the Middle Ages. Yeah, when that becomes the most interesting thing the writers have failed utterly. As for the creature, oh good grief. I expect bad CGI now from Syfy, but the design itself was just horrid. It looked like a rubber bat on a stick with an Alfred E. Neuman smile. The only bad movie camp hillarity came from them treating the poem as "the prophecy," even reciting it as one would recite the Psalms. That was probably the best acting in the whole shebang that the actors didn't bust up laughing.

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