Damn You Roger Corman

Roger Corman has entered that stage of his career that we could call, "The Victory Lap."  He has gone from exploitation master, to indie fav, to joke, to now a well respected icon of cinema.  Good for him, he deserves it.  No one can stay alive in the business as long as he has without doing a lot of things right.  Some of his movies are truly good films.

Then there are "The Terror Within," and "Dead Space."  Both made late in career pretty much in the joke phase.  Unfortunately, I didn't laugh.  Maybe if I had some company or if I were one to partake of certain herbs it would have helped. 

The Terror Within is alien.  Creature bursts out victim.  Grows big.  Eats people.  The End.  Roll Credits.  Of course there are differences,  there has to be according to the lawyers.  Here our core group are gutsy survivors in a government lab in the middle of the mojave desert.  They have survived a super plague but things are looking grim supplies wise.  They discover a bunch of dead people and a suspiciously pregnant woman.  They take the woman in and suddenly they have a mutant problem.  The mutant looks like a peeled alligator crossed with the pillsbury doughboy.  Not very frightening.  Like other films of this era the mutant is a serial rapist.  Oh goody, oh joy oh fun.  Not.

Dead Space, is forbidden world.  Yes Corman rips off himself.  Space jockey goes to an alien world where a lab specimen has gotten out of control.  Our space Jockey is played by Beastmaster Marc Singer as he waits for a check.  There is nothing else going on here.

To be fair, both films have decent values of production given a dollar and ten cent budget.  Corman by this time had a crew of old hands and hungry young students that tried to do as much as they can with a smoke machine and a corridor.  One the commentary track of Dead space the director said he had just finished his UCLA student film when Corman asked him direct a movie week from then.  The student asked for a script and Corman said, "It will be there when you get to the set."  Corman was true to his word, but it shows just how crazy tight things were at the house of Corman.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Well they've been remaking a lot of slasher films lately, good God they remade Prom Night.  Prom Night?!  Was there a crying need for that?  I think not.  So, it's not suprising they finally got around to doing a remake of Wes Craven's Nightmare on Elmstreet.  At least this was handled by the folks who did the remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," so you are fairly assured that if they didn't make it better at least they'd remake it fairly competently.

So, we have dumb teenagers again.  They are having nightmares, and this time it is Jackie Earle Haley instead of Robert Englund doing the honors of putting most of them out their misery.  The main difference here plot wise is that they tie Nancy much closer to Freddy making it a more traumatic grudge match.

Well, in theory.

Look, this film has way better production values than the first.  It also has a more consistent tone.  What it is missing is craziness and fun.  The first film you really had no clue what was going to happen, not everything worked to be sure (the ending?  Really??), but it had a wonderful funhouse quality.  The new film is so dour.  Yes Freddy was a child molestor but in the first film that was just a reason for the parents to kill his ass to set the plot in motion.  The new film really dwells over it making Nancy a victim of Freddy before Freddy got hi s pizza face.  It's good, just not near as much fun.  Also, while the actors are on the whole way better, this film could have used an actor like John Saxon who may not have been good but was always John Saxon and don't you forget it.

Jackie Earle Haley does carry most of the film's water in his protrayal of Freddie.  In keeping with the new film it is a darker performance than Robert Englund but it is also a less punny, more purposeful performance.  Certainly, he channels his inner bad ass here for good effect.  The make up is different but good, it reminds me of the skinned baby in "Eraserhead." 

Overall, it wa not bad, but I'll always prefer the first film.

They can't all be treats

"Assault of the Sasquatch" is pretty bad.  Maybe if there were more people watching with me, or if I had the habit of drinking and viewing it might have been a "fun" bad movie.  But no, it's just a really bad movie.  It apes (sasquatches?) Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13," a bunch of crooks, cops, and others are trapped in an isolated police station by a very upset Sasquatch.  Add in a fat teen doing a very bad and over broad Chris Farley (Yes for YOU it is too soon.), and you have the recipe for a migraine.

"The Craving" didn't fair much better.  Add one desert, one shack, and a bunch of characters we wished would have died before the film began and you have a waste of time.  The bizarre creature who has the ability to turn other people into orange eyed crazy people, just isn't bizarre enough to save things.

Just goes to show, you can't have a treat every time you dip into the movie bag.  Some days it is all black jelly beans.  ewww..

Operation: Endgame

Well I don't know how I feel about this one. It's a film that features comedians. It does not however try to be funny. It does, however, have a lot of death by office supplies so I guess that's a little funny. It was trying I think for more a Dr. Strangelove funny than a three stooges funny, but it was just generally strange.

There's a secret bunker full of secret agent killers. These aren't James Bond. For their entry interview they have to kill a puppy. They are divided into two teams: Alpha and Omega. Everyone has the code name of tarot cards. They are led by the Devil, who was more a distracted individual than diabolic.

The movie starts with someone starting his first day on the job. He's been given the code name of "The Fool." He's being given the grand tour by a drunken burnt out case. Then the Devil winds up dead, the bunker gets sealed, and there is a bomb about to go off. Don't you hate first days like that?

This reminds me old IRS films where the weird factor sort of overwhelms everything else in the script (eg. The Blue Iguana). Do yourself a favor, don't look at who stars in it, and just pop it in the ol' dvd player. It makes it more fun when you say.. HEY IT'S SO AND SO! It's about the best part of the film. Since that is the best part of the film I have to say this film is a fail, but an interesting one! More Strangepork than Strangelove.

Armored Car Robbery/Crime in the Streets

Part of a collection of film noir features, "Armored Car Robbery" and "Crime in the Streets" are wonderful little B films. First you have to love a film like "Armored Car Robbery," just because it is so direct. Crooks decide to rob an armored car, cops catch crooks. Of course there are complications and double crosses. One reason I love this film is because it harkens back to LA Confidential in that it shows how hollywood protrayed the LA cops. Each rising shot of city hall just adds to their aura of pious protectors. The villain is a true villain willing to kill anyone one to keep his money, specially his cohorts. There's a girl involved of course, and a wonderful scene where some one backstage describes her stripping from the sounds over the intercom in her room.

"Crime in the Streets," belong to that fifties genre of "trouble youths," or if you are in the bronx "youts." A small gangs of 'boys' (most are old enough not only to shave but vote for wilson) trouble the local neighborhood. A saintly social worker tries to get them to turn around before the inevitable murder. My favorite line from a concerned father, "You are too old for me to beat you now." Paging Dr. Spock! Great stuff and fantastically photographed. They just don't light people this way any more.

Both are well worth a watch!

The Church

The Church was originally going to be Demons 3. If you have not seen demons 1 or 2 don't worry. First off these are italian films. Continuity is not an issue. Plot is not an issue. Think opera instead. Style is the the key here. When an Italian horror film is done right then it is a thing of dark passionate beauty. Like a nightmare butterfly.

The Church is still in the coccoon.

Don't get me wrong, there is a lot they did right here. It has the right measure of broodiness and creepitude. The story goes that a bunch of devil worshippers are killed by knights. Their bodies are put in a pit and a church is built over it. In the present day the near derelict church is being restored even as it serves its small flock. A librarian and a restoration artist find a mysterious text and accidently set into motion the events that will test the mettle and souls of the restorationists, the clergy, a bunch of kids on a field trip, an old couple, a young couple, and some extremely annoying fashionista models and hanger ons.

Some of the images are beautiful. A cross on the floor falls into the abyss. A beautiful naked red head embracing a demon. But the problem is really you don't care a whit about the characters, not a bit. Well ok I cared a little about the teenage daughter of caretaker, but even she was just weird. Like sometimes she was supposed to be a little kid then others a teenage club goer. That inability to really define these characters is the problem. They go wherever the plot or the need for a cool visual takes them, but that doesn't take us anywhere.

It is sort of fun to watch this as a precursor to the "Da Vinci Code." Both movies have the church hiding secrets. The difference is this is the film that could have used a masochistic albino! Worth a watch for the horror viewers to be sure.