Sunday, November 13, 2011

Films I Would Remake: Kingdom of the Spiders

A film I turn to as a "comfort film," something I can pop into the DVD player as I do some work. It is a great deal of fun and really could be improved by modern special effects.

The story is simple, Vet William Shatner is balancing his affections between his dead brother's wife and a sexy female scientist. Meanwhile tarantulas learn how to work and hunt together and start going for the big game including man. Soon folks are hold up in a bar/hotel fighting off spiders left and right.

Being set in Arizona I'd love to address some of the recent immigrant issues in the new version. In the old version the farmers first besieged by spiders were blacks.  I think I'd make them latino in this version.  I'd also mix up the spiders to include ones like black widows in with the tarantulas.  It would make the "spider hills" look truly scary.

The only question is who would I want for the William Shatner role.  It's a toughie.  If I want to go for realism I guess I'd want someone like Tommy Lee Jones.  On the other hand, I think John Goodman would be perfect for the role.  It's about time for a big man to have a love interest on film.  Also, you could believe he could take about 30 to 40 spider bites.  Oddly, the dark horse would be Jim Carrey.  He's been wanting to be taken seriously as a "serious" actor and I can see him actually doing a good job here.  At least better than in his "23" movie.

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