Sunday, September 4, 2011

Lizard Boy

Well someone in Italy saw "Splice," Or probably more accurately it described to him. So in awe this fellow was he decides to make his own version with the more audience friendly title of "Lizard Boy."

So, here we are in generic land and we have a brilliant doctor living in a trailer. When he's not giving interviews about glowing pigs he and his best but are watching the fights. This time they invited a jerk cause jerk had weed. Jerk gets eaten by Lizard Boy. Brilliant scientist is all woe is me how did this happen?

Flashback happens and we are watching the government give mutant lizard to brilliant scientist's lab. They want him to mix some ape into the lizard's egg, you know... because. This is truly silly since primates are more than capable as is to rip off faces. They don't need a little lizard, they need a little control. Scientist agrees with me it's stupid to mix ape with mutant lizard. We disagree though when he decides to mix human with mutant lizard. Hello Lizard Boy.

Meanwhile, back to today on generic mountain. Lizard Boy is eating more faces. Being that they are ugly people this is not a loss. Still Police are unhappy. Government Agents are unhappy. Our Scientist and friend are very unhappy. Totally frowny face for all.

Back in the Lizard Boy's past we learn that he's actually very smart. He just has impulse control problems, like ripping off faces. Scientists find that having him smoke weed helps. Glad someone watched "Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams." We see that when he was disguised in a mask the jerk he killed at the beginning of the film giving him and his "dad" a hard time. So see face ripping was justified!

Meanwhile, well you get the idea. People chase lizard. Lizard chases people. Folk get dead and by the end we do get the answers to why the scientist did such a crazy stupid thing. This thing was directed badly, acted badly, and in one case acted badly in a bad lizard mask. If you are of the bad film school of viewership you might get some laughs. The rest of the audience will feel like their tails were pulled off.

No comments:

Post a Comment