Friday, January 6, 2012


In the bad old days of TV, there generally wasn't much scary on.  The days of the Twilight Zone and the Outer Limits were long over and TV in the seventies was a study in "meh."  Which is why if you were of a certain age and frame of mind you will remember Gargoyles.  It's a great bit of wonderful stinky cheese that was so much fun.

So first we get an unseen narrator telling us all that Gargoyles are the devil's children and they plague humanity about once in every six hundred years.  Thank you Mr. Encyclopedia.  So then we get this incredibly cheesy title that goosebump books obviously stole from later.  The letters are green, bubbling, and obviously gooey.  What that has to do with Gargoyles in the desert I'll never know.  For that is where we are dear readers in the desert.

Our hero is an older man, a dashing professor type who writes controversial books.  He joined by his hot daughter who is wearing native american jewelry and hands daddy a statue of a demon.  Awwww.  Together the dynamic dou head off to Uncle Willy who is said to have something big for daddy to write about.  Well they find Willy in a shack filled with crap and cold beer.  At first the good Professor is dubious, telling Willy out and out that he's an old faker.  Willy ups the ante by showing them gargoyle bones. 

Somehow (maybe they got good hearing) the Gargoyles know that now is the time to attack.  The shed is no defense and soon everything is up in fire and our family duo is being attacked in their station wagon.  Cops are called, but they are fairly useless.  Instead of beating feet, our duo instead stay in a dubious motel.  So they can be attacked by gargoyles again.  The rest of the plot sort of writes itself specially when the lead gargoyle realizes he has a little human fever and wants the professor's daughter.

The gargoyles themselves are both impressive and laughable.  Given the budget of the TV movie and production time what they came up with is impressive.  Unfortunately, it's mostly impressive around the face and claws.  The rest of the suits sort of look like someone painted glue on wet suit and put them out in the middle of a hurricane to see what could stick.  I feel a great deal of sympathy for those poor stunt men since the suits really were at their base wet suits and they were working in the desert with 100 plus degree days. 

The things we do for our craft.  Gentlemen I salute you all.  Your discomfort gave a small boy some wonderful nightmares!

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