Sunday, October 30, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse

Well I'm pretty burnt out by now on Syfy films, but this one did make me curious. There were three reasons I was willing to see "Zombie Apocalypse," the first is that is stared Ving Rhames who's enough of a name usually to avoid a Syfy film.  Secondly, being near the climax of their 31 days of Halloween festival I had some hopes they left something good for the end.  Thirdly, there was a brief shot of a zombie tiger that is awesome.


Well, I'll say this; they didn't waste any time.  Basically, a french virus makes virus and it spread to the rest of the world.  To stop the spread the US government rained down EMP bombs.  Now, it's several months latter and practically everyone is dead, or deadish.  My first indication of lack of quality was right in the credits.  This is an asylum film.   Asylum does crappy horror and "We'll rape any property so fast we'll beat it into theaters."   The second one was that the first actor I could recognize was NOT Ving Rhames.

It was the crabshack guy in "My Name is Earl."  Who still had his mutant afro intact.  Now I'm sure this guy is a good actor.  I loved him in "My Name is Earl."  But when I see that mutant afro waving free in the breeze it pulls me out of the idea that this is suppose to be a serious horror film.  Luckily, we get to Ving Fairly quickly as survivors begin to hook up after the zombies have taken over.  Unfortunately, strike three occurs during this first battle.  I've said it before, I'll say it again:  yes CGI gunfire is safer and cheaper, but if you want to do it RIGHT use practical effects.  This fight looks more fake than pro wrestling with midgets.

So, the plot of the film is these survivors want to reach the coast and then the Catalina Islands.  In the meantime they have to fight through a zombie horde.  The zombie fights grow boring quickly, and the character development moments are even worse.  Ving doesn't embarrass himself and comes off as a good old fashion bad ass.  Two ideas are brought into play but not much is made of them.  The first is there can be animal zombies, and the second is that the zombies are getting smarter.  That both ideas are given about thirty seconds of consideration is sad.

Finally, we reach the end.  At the end we FINALLY have the zombie tiger.  It actually is kinda of awesome.  Even the bad special effects don't kill the scene too much.  We could have had an entire film with zombie tiger rather than boring two hours of zombie zombies. 

Oh you, Syfy.

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