The Northern Sun Bat Contemplates A New Day

Useful Tools: The Book Of Bright Darkness

We all like villainy, how can there be hereos without it?  The best villains need a compelling motive otherwise it's all just twitches and moustache twirling.  One of the standard motives is the villain trying to bring some prophecy to pass.  It's a good one cause it excuses all sorts of craziness.  Why is the villain killing red headed kids?  Ancient Prophecy.  Why does he want the sword of omens?  Ancient Prophecy.  The great thing is that it doesn't matter if the prophecy is legit or not as long as the villain believes in it. 

The Book of Bright Darkness is a good role playing tool to help motivate people into dastardly deed.  It looks like a large leather bound book that has been scorched in several places.  Inside it reads like a demented dream diary by someone of truly questionable sanity.  More importantly there are 23 prophecies spread through out the book.  I won't say what the prophecies are since any game master can fill it with whatever he or she wants.  As a bit of advice don't reveal all the prophecies at once, it allows the book to be used more than once and in different ways by different people.

The trick with the book is that it inspires belief in itself.  Think of it as a form of mind control with one command "Believe in me."  Anyone that hears or reads it will fall pray to it unless they have strong will power.  Anyone actually holding the book will almost assuredly fall into the clutches of books prophecies.  Does the power of the book mean that the prophecies are real?  Or is it just that the delusions of the author were so powerful that they now reach out through the pages of the book?  That is for the game master to decide.

Things You Need To Know #399

The teleportprompter was the invention of the rather erratic Dr. Bo Bousi.  It is a device that literally puts other people's words into your mouth.  When working fine it can make anyone sound like the perfect expert on any subject since someone in the world will be speaking about it.  The trouble is that the settings are rather fine and tempermental and a slight change can lead to what looks like to the world to be a case of speaking in tongues.

This is something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Killer Sheep

Source:  Black Sheep
Location:  Rural
Threat Assessment:  Well, it's a sheep but there's a lot of them so I'll give it a six.
Limitation:  A killer sheep is still a sheep.

Today's Secret Code:

Today's Secret Code is brought you by  the letter not named.  The original strokes from the first man.  It is a letter that begins the five cryptic languages of Pao and the Cyphers of the Censorcracy.  It is the first letter of the name of first Masked Man and will be the last letter of the last woman and mother when the Earth withers to dust and eight track tapes.  All rubber ducks share the letter in their esoteric middle names.  Remember this and enjoy the day.  Maho maho.

刀片公主继续她长时间观看

Things that should be remade: Thundarr the Barbarian.

I don't remember much about the year 1994 but evidently the Earth was nearly destroyed.  At least according to the cartoon Thundarr the Barbarian.  It was a rogue planet that came to close and literally shattered the moon.  Two thousand years later there are a lot of monsters and mutated humanoids and above all the evil wizards who use equal parts super science, magic and army surplus to rule over a ruined planet.  Luckily we have Thundar who with his mighty-not-in-any-sense-a-light-saber sun sword and trusty companions a Mok-which-is-not-wookie and Princess Girls-Can-Fight-Too! Ariel fight the evil wizards.

As you can tell this is about one third road warrior, one third star wars and finished off with a heaping amount of Conan.  It's a pretty heady mix and even by the low standards of saturday morning cartoons at that time they came off with some nifty things.  Not everyday do you see the Statue of Liberty turned into a flame throwing monster.  Subtle it isn't, but that's one of the joys of it.  Every now and then we need something that is just some guy with sword and hairy monster pal.  As a live action film it could be an action extravaganza with some incredible sets.  Anyway untill they do it let's party like it's 1994.

Things You Need To Know #398

Cats can see magic, death, and Maus Kette Geister. The Maus Kette Geiseter are huge balls of rodent spirits that roll through out the land. Their inaudible to humans squeallings greatly annoy any feline in the area. Unfortunately, there has not been much research in how to exorcise a Maus Kette Geister so just be prepared to be patient when your cat suddenly streaks through the room for no seeming reason.

This was something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Brands

Source:  Branded
Location:  Everywhere
Threat Assessment:  possibly 8.  They are either one man's delusion or a parasitic meme based life form that has infected humanity to a pandemic degree.
Limitation:  Meme's can be affected by public opinion.

Today's Secret Code

Today's secret code was brought you by Nihilism Inc, remember when it doesn't matter thank the meh people of Nihilism Inc.  Maho maho.

Today's Secret Code:

Go home Japan, you are drunk.  Again:  Go home Japan, you are drunk.  Today's Colour is a Power Ranger Rainbow.  Today's Author has the wave motion gun and do you feel lucky punk?  That is all Ramna, maho maho.

The Singularity View

Thale

Some jobs really suck.  You wonder how someone falls into some of these soul sucking careers.  In the case of Elvis (yes that's his name) he's just doing a favor for a friend.  Dang I hope it involved buried bodies cause it's a big favor to fill.  He gets to work in the cadaver cleaning career.  His friend handles it all zen but poor Elvis can barely keep any lunch as they scour some 3 month old body off the floor.

That's the start of Thale a film set in great woods of Northern Europe.  Soon our team are out there scraping some poor soul out of an out house.  They accidently find a hidden bunker and within a mysterious girl.  There is much talk about the Huldra.  They are a mythical being that is somewhat between an elf and bigfoot.  Let's just say they aren't alone in the woods.

It's a good decent film.  A little slow in spots but it has great atmosphere.  Definitely worth a look if only for something most americans have never heard about.

Things You Need To Know #397

The Horror In the Pine Dunes Sugar Jar is the stuff of legend.  First reported in 1918 the sugar jar has since fallen from one collector to another.  No one has ever recorded what exactly is in the jar save that it is horrible and tends to leave a trail of powdered sugar, arsenic, and dried pear dust in its wake.  It's currently owned by one Mr. Deeter of Manscal Way and will allow for private viewings for one thousand dollars and a stick of pine tar gum.

This is something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Henrietta

Source:  Evil Dead II
Locatioin:  Fruit cellar
Threat Assessment:  6.  Undead with limited shape changing.  Wants your soul.
Limitation:  Just can't keep her head.

Today's secret code

You aren't following a person if you lose them.  Again:  You aren't following a person if you lose them.  Today's Colour is Green Lantern's blues.  Today's Author still swears it isn't true.  That is all Blind Lemon Jefferson, maho maho.

El cantante de Death descansa esperando la hora del lobo

Heebie Jeebies

Well... if this hasn't been on Syfy's Saturday night schedule it's only a matter of  time.  Silly story and crappy special effects are the hallmark of Syfy's "quality."  I'll give it some marks for originality and some of the actors seem to be having fun but overall it's a stinkeroo.

So the plot is we have a cop with such bad emotional issues that he freezes up giving tickets.  Now this is not something that came about in the course of duty mind you, we are told he's had this problem since childhood and he was STILL hired.  As a cop.  Yeah, I call bullshit.  Anyway a cute asian chick is helping him with his problems so we know there's a happy ending coming.

Meanwhile, an idiot is digging in the family's abandoned gold mine.  People even more idiotic and possibly their own grandpas decide to sneak in and dig for gold.  They release the monster which is basically a zombie made up of five bodies with a herking big mouth in its chest.  It's interests are killing people and looking for gold. 

Meanwhile, meanwhile, bad (as in bad in his job) cop has to try to raise kid sister and she rebels (those nutty teens!) So he's going to have to hunt for a monster, find his sister, deal with crazy idiot, save his girl friend and deal with his emotional issues.  No spoilers here, but he managese to do all that and be the hero.  Roll credits, the end.

Things You Need to Know #396

Army clams are storming the beaches of Moore Bay. A mutant stock of bivalve they are dangerous but slow. They can strip a man to bones in say.... oh ... two weeks. 

This was something you needed to know

Monster of the day: Boogens

Source:  The Boogens
Location:  Mines, caves
Threat Assessment:  5.  Modified snot monsters with tentacle.
Limitation:  Sort of dumb, really just want to be left alone.

Today's Secret Code

I have the jacket from James Dean now I just need a voice borrowed from you and me.  Again:  I have the jacket from James Dean now I just need a voice borrowed from you and me.  Today's Colour is Ruby Topaz.  Today's Author is his own roadie.  That is all Meatloaf, maho maho.

Dream Transmission Alpha

Under the Dome

Well this is only the first episode, but so far so good.  Based on the Stephen King novel this is the story of a "normal" little town suddenly under an invisible dome.  I used "normal" in quotes because this is a Stephen King town so there's some dark scandal involving lots of propane and the son of the local town leader is already way of the rails kidnapping a young lady.

Most of the hour was set up of the situation with some gross special effects.  Some animals and people were unlucky enough to be at the halfway point when the dome came down with cutting force.  Other people were driving and just didn't see an invisible barrier.  The survivors try to make sense of it all and are at the moment they too stunned to really think about what this could mean in their immediate future (like, for instance, a certain lack of air over time).

Anyway, I'll try to keep up on the show and see how it goes.

Things You Need To Know #395

In a sense, a literal sense in this case, werewolves can sort of see through time.  Unlike visions the chemicals that causes smells can linger for months.  It creates a maze of sensations that the werewolf must pick through with a nearly human brain.  Some werewolves carefully hoard and store clothes of lost loved ones.  On lonely nights they'll open chests and for a brief (if stale) moment it is as if that loved one was in the room with them again.  Some of them says that makes the curse bearable, and others say that is the curse.

This was something you needed to know.

Monster of the Day: Cycloptic Centaur

Source:  Golden Voyage of Sinbad
Location:  Underground in Lemuria
Threat Assessment:  6.  Very Strong and huge.
Limitation:  Not too bright and limited depth perception.

Today's Secret Code

Never take candy from strangers or promises from politicians.  Again:  Never take candy from strangers or promises from politicians.  Today's Colour is taupe.  Today's Author has Chekov's gun in a nucweaw wessel.   That is all Sulu haha, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

The Devil in the mind fears the cathedral of the heart.  Again:  The Devil in the mind fears the cathedral of the heart.  Today's Colour is a pious, pure, pearly blue.  Today's Author is eating a horse radish porkbutt wrap and a root beer.  That is all Augustine, maho maho.

Things You Need To Know #394

The Capslocki are a form of gremlin that infest social media.  As such they tend to be immaterial and annoying at the same time.  If a Capslocki is annoying you with enchanted spam merely build a bridge of match sticks and put an old floppy disk and a cap from an old new pepsi bottle filled with honey under it.  The Capslocki will happily dwell under the bridge like any good troll.  

This was something you needed to know.

Today's Secret Code:

Always look with great suspicion anything laid by a bunny, even the Easter Bunny.  Again:  Always look with great suspicion anything laid by a bunny, even the Easter Bunny.  Today's Colour is Chocolate.  Today's Author's butler is Cabury.  That is all mi hermono Hershy, maho mambo maho.

Today's Secret Code

The silent clown knows my feats, I'm a legend in my own mime.  Again:  The silent clown knows my feats, I'm a legend in my own mime.  Today's Colour is invisible.  Today's Author is indivisible.  That is all ---------, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

A straight snake is never as fast as his twisty brother.  Again:  A straight snake is never as fast as his twisty brother.  Today's Colour is mamba green.  Today's Author is not Cobra Commander.  That is all Riki Tiki Tavi, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

Municipal fire codes are often not in binary format.  Again:  Municipal fire codes are often not in binary format.  Today's Colour is blazing.  Today's Author is still amazing.  That is all Fire Will Marshall, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code:

The difference between a neck tie and a garrote is context...oh and the ability to breath.  Again: 
The difference between a neck tie and a garrote is context...oh and the ability to breath.  Today's Colour is cornflower blue.  Today's Author remembers his father's dreams.  That is all dad, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code:

Kiss the cod and drink the screech!  Again:  Kiss the cod and drink the screech.  Today's Colour is the soul of an angry sea.  Today's Author doesn't have a wonder twin so no shape of a monkey.  That is all Hodor, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

Hell is like a country music station, just because you aren't listening doesn't mean it's not there.  Again:  Hell is like a country music station, just because you aren't listening doesn't mean it's not there.  Today's Colour is cinnabar.  Today's Author is Wundabarr.  That is all munchkins, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

To a fisherman, life is either reel or make believe.  Again:  To a fisherman, life is either reel or make believe.  Today's Colour is steel.  Today's Author tells whoppers.  That is all old man, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

The heart of a singularity is nine infinities too small so don't think about a gifts.  Again:  The heart of a singularity is nine infinities too small so don't think about a gift.  Today's Colour is found in the prismatic spray.  Today's Author will someday have his say.  That is all R.A.W., maho mateys!

Today's Secret Code

An open heart is sometimes a secret window.  Again:  An open heart is sometimes a secret window.  Today's Colour is jolly giant green.  Today's Author is felt but rarely seen.  That is all Margo, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

In Spanish an accent mark makes the difference between a father and a potato.  Again:  In Spanish an accent mark makes the difference between a father and a potato.  Today's Colour is rojo.  Today's Author is baka.  That is all until we get badges, maho maho.

Today's Secret Code

Before TLC I had no idea Amish were so wicked.  Again:  Before TLC I had no idea Amish were so wicked.   Today's Colour is probably sinful.  Today's Author is probably banned.  That is all Jedidiah, maho maho.