STRANGE SPANNERS being an accounting of strangeness of the warp and woof of my mind For those of you new here, think of this as 1/2 "Night Gallery" Our Motto: Nos somnium quisnam es futurus fatum quod insolitus tutus vos!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Despciable Me
Sometimes we all want to be the villain. After all, they can act out on their Id, doing whatever enters their head. Gru, in "Despicable Me," for example, has no problems freezing everyone in line just so he can cut to the front. He doesn't care that his lawn is dead, or mind threaten the neighbor to kill his dog if he poops again in his yard. Heck I'd just love to drive his car which has no safety standards and probably gets ten feet to the gallon.
Gru has his own problem though. His grand plan to steal the moon is beset with problems. There are new villains like Vector who are getting all the press. Gru is also having problems getting funding from the Evil Bank. Luckily, Gru has a plan to get what he wants he just needs to use three orphan girls (hey, he is evil).
Of course, the girls will melt Gru's heart and he'll become a better human being for it. Despicable Me is fairly formulaic, but it's fun. The voice work is good and the designs are fun. I love Gru's Minions who are sort of a naughty chorus to the going ons.
Gru has his own problem though. His grand plan to steal the moon is beset with problems. There are new villains like Vector who are getting all the press. Gru is also having problems getting funding from the Evil Bank. Luckily, Gru has a plan to get what he wants he just needs to use three orphan girls (hey, he is evil).
Of course, the girls will melt Gru's heart and he'll become a better human being for it. Despicable Me is fairly formulaic, but it's fun. The voice work is good and the designs are fun. I love Gru's Minions who are sort of a naughty chorus to the going ons.
"So What's Your Story?"
The man was feeding ducks with intense concentration. He would shred the bread to uniform little crumbly bits then cast it in the water. He would always make sure there was enough for each of the ducks who then would waggle their beaks like little jack hammers in the water till every atom of bread was accounted for.
He looked up at me with watery eyes.
"I was the devil once," he said. "I suppose that counts for something."
"You were cast from heaven? You don't look the type."
He smiled and cast more bread upon the water.
"No no no, you are thinking of Lucifer. The Devil, Satan, that's an office not a person. Lucifer was the first Devil, but he's moved on. Honestly, I heard his heart wasn't in it. Still hangs around down below, so I hear. But I also hear he has a condo in the Brazil. Someone even told me he writes children books now."
"You will have to pardon me friend, but you still don't look like the devil type."
"Came as a surprise to me as well. I was a manager of small store in strip mall in Indiana. I was making some money, but you know it's never enough. So I kept my ears open for opportunity. Well one day in the paper there was this ad for a management position, but it didn't say where. It did quote a salary, and that was enough to get me to the interviews. Let me tell you, there was a quite a line."
"How does one get interviewed to be the Devil?"
"Well, it was pretty odd. First I had to fill out all the forms and the usual style of interview. Nothing strange except no one would identify themselves. I was beginning to think it was some like spy thing. Then things got weird. They would show me fruit and ask me to make up stories about them. Once they brought in a crying baby and a dog on a leash and left them in the room. Well at one point I was being hung upside down and being quizzed on math and I was just about to say enough, when this fellow walked in. He wore the best suit in the world and the worst smile. He walked over to me and said, 'Congratulations, you are the new Devil.'"
"And that was that?"
"And that was that. They took me down, and then really took me down. The orientation felt like it lasted years, but it didn't. By the end I thought I could handle pretty much anything. That's when they gave me the best suit in the world and the office. I was the Devil."
"How was it being the Devil?"
"Ok."
"Just ok?"
"Sorry confidentiality agreement. I can say I enjoy retirement more."
With that he went back to feeding the ducks.
He looked up at me with watery eyes.
"I was the devil once," he said. "I suppose that counts for something."
"You were cast from heaven? You don't look the type."
He smiled and cast more bread upon the water.
"No no no, you are thinking of Lucifer. The Devil, Satan, that's an office not a person. Lucifer was the first Devil, but he's moved on. Honestly, I heard his heart wasn't in it. Still hangs around down below, so I hear. But I also hear he has a condo in the Brazil. Someone even told me he writes children books now."
"You will have to pardon me friend, but you still don't look like the devil type."
"Came as a surprise to me as well. I was a manager of small store in strip mall in Indiana. I was making some money, but you know it's never enough. So I kept my ears open for opportunity. Well one day in the paper there was this ad for a management position, but it didn't say where. It did quote a salary, and that was enough to get me to the interviews. Let me tell you, there was a quite a line."
"How does one get interviewed to be the Devil?"
"Well, it was pretty odd. First I had to fill out all the forms and the usual style of interview. Nothing strange except no one would identify themselves. I was beginning to think it was some like spy thing. Then things got weird. They would show me fruit and ask me to make up stories about them. Once they brought in a crying baby and a dog on a leash and left them in the room. Well at one point I was being hung upside down and being quizzed on math and I was just about to say enough, when this fellow walked in. He wore the best suit in the world and the worst smile. He walked over to me and said, 'Congratulations, you are the new Devil.'"
"And that was that?"
"And that was that. They took me down, and then really took me down. The orientation felt like it lasted years, but it didn't. By the end I thought I could handle pretty much anything. That's when they gave me the best suit in the world and the office. I was the Devil."
"How was it being the Devil?"
"Ok."
"Just ok?"
"Sorry confidentiality agreement. I can say I enjoy retirement more."
With that he went back to feeding the ducks.
Today's Secret Code for January 2nd 2011
"Alcohol is measured in proofs, yet if you drink too much you'll see things you never can prove." Again: "Alcohol is mesured in proofs, yet if you drink too much you'll see things you never can prove." Today's colour is new. Today's author is contemplating. That is all, maho maho.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Things I reviewed in 2010
Here is my attempt to index my reviews for 2010. I hope some of you find it helpful.
Secret Code for a New Year
"Every trip begins with either a single step, or a great fall." Again: "Every trip begins with either a single step, or a great fall." Today's colour is new. Today's author is a reprint. That is all, maho maho.
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