Prometheus is a sort of maybe prequel to the Alien saga. The creators hedged their bets and sort of made it somewhat of a reboot as well so that no one can really yell at them for not being slavish to the original series. They could and did yell at them for asking questions and not answering them. That doesn't bother me so much. What bothers me is that it pretends to be an intelligent and thoughtful film but it has a crew vastly unable to face up to the dramatic challenge of the piece.
First the good news. This is a beautiful film. Even when it is on an ass ugly piece of rock, it is just shot so perfect that it carries an unearthly beauty. The futuristic designs are beautiful and it's a good thing this is something of a reboot because it would be hard to believe that the computers in "Alien" were suppose to be made after this, though to be fair maybe that's like saying a truck doesn't have the classic lines of a '56 Ford. Something to think about.
So, a bunch of ancient civilizations have a picture of some dots. Two ardent scientists figure that dots equal starmap equal invitation by aliens that obviously created us and not just came by for tea. That is a LOT of assumptions to be the basis of a trillion dollar expedition. I want to see these two write a grant! Also, they assume that all languages come from one base and that base is what the aliens (called Engineers) speak and that THEIR language hasn't changed at all in 35,000 years and that their handsome android can figure from our languages what this root tongue is, learn it and speak it like a pro.
Me? I'd put stock in some rail guns and roses. Only way to be sure.
So they find the rock get down and find that there is some weird installation there is black slime in a can. Black slime is bad, really really bad. It infects some people, makes little snakes that slide into people, give other people surprises, and just seems to do whatever the screen writers want to make you jump at that moment. Now here is where the crew falls down. First there are like three different agendas. There is the ardent scientist camp that is there for pure science. Then there is the merc crew of scientists and support personal who don't seem to give two damns and a fig. Then there is the android wonderfully played by Michael Fassbender and the Suit in a dress played coldly by Charlize Theron who represent the company, the money and the madness behind the expedition. Now those two I don't have a problem with since they dramatic purpose, but really for a trillion dollars, A TRILLION DOLLARS, expedition can't you find a better crew than apathetic pot smoking in their space suit idiots? This isn't the equivalent of a space truck being waylaid by some beacon. This was supposedly a PLANNED affair. Maybe I wouldn't have minded so much if they were 10% more interesting as people but on the whole they are just blanks with props being manipulated by the screen writers.
As to the Engineers. Our example, isn't a stellar example of alien intelligence. Actually in looks and actions he reminds me of the original carrot monster in "The Thing." Maybe we should give a bit of lee way, I'm sure being frozen for thousands of years can't be good for you or your attitude. Still it says a lot that we root for the vagina squid over our supposed creators.
Difinitely worth a watch and I'd love to see them do a sequel to address the question of the Engineer's relationship to the Predators. That could be very interesting indeed.
STRANGE SPANNERS being an accounting of strangeness of the warp and woof of my mind For those of you new here, think of this as 1/2 "Night Gallery" Our Motto: Nos somnium quisnam es futurus fatum quod insolitus tutus vos!
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Battleship
Battleship deserved to fail not on its merits but from its genesis. Once again we have a serviceable idea taken to an extreme where it becomes both a joke and an insult. Now I generally loath the "Transformers" movies but it was based on a solid idea; let's take a bit of childhood nostalgia and update it and bring it to the screen as a blockbuster. Unfortunately, someone misread that simple concept as "toys" and then decided well if "toys" work why not games. So a host of boardgames from Candyland to Batttleship was sold (prostituted) to the screen. Halfway through the process various people behind the scenes suddenly became awarre they were doing something inanely stupid. Unfortunately, their attempts at sanity did nothing but add to the costs of the production. Finally, when Battleship came out it had a pricetag supposedly around two hundred million dollars, like "John Carter," and like that film it failed at the box office by only doing medium business for a Tiffany bill.
The strange thing is that it wasn't that bad of a film. Oh, it's no great shakes even by blockbuster standards but I liked it better than the last two "Transformers" movies. I think what happened that the concept was so silly that those making the movie basically ignored it and did what they wanted which some how slipped under the studio radar. The plot has that maverick character who's about to get drummed out of the navy given his big chance to be the hero. In this case it is because spiny bearded aliens land near Hawaii and set up a force field as they try to get reenforcements. First using a destroyer and then and old navy battle ship our hero must stop these high tech party poopers.
Now I said this isn't great shakes. The script is cliche-o-rama ville. The science is bupkiss. For instance no way our radio signal would reach theirr planet for at least decades if not centuries. Also the alien weapons are surprisingly badly aimed. We do better with our drones. On the other hand the cast is game and enthusiastic. The action is clearly done and you can understand what's happening unlike the Transformers movie which fall into just ugly CGI. The aliens are visually well realized though they admittedly look similar to the aliens in "The Avengers."
Truly if this film was budgeted at say a realistic sixty million dollars it would have been considered something of a hit. A lesson my friends of what happens when one's mouth is far bigger than one's hands.
The strange thing is that it wasn't that bad of a film. Oh, it's no great shakes even by blockbuster standards but I liked it better than the last two "Transformers" movies. I think what happened that the concept was so silly that those making the movie basically ignored it and did what they wanted which some how slipped under the studio radar. The plot has that maverick character who's about to get drummed out of the navy given his big chance to be the hero. In this case it is because spiny bearded aliens land near Hawaii and set up a force field as they try to get reenforcements. First using a destroyer and then and old navy battle ship our hero must stop these high tech party poopers.
Now I said this isn't great shakes. The script is cliche-o-rama ville. The science is bupkiss. For instance no way our radio signal would reach theirr planet for at least decades if not centuries. Also the alien weapons are surprisingly badly aimed. We do better with our drones. On the other hand the cast is game and enthusiastic. The action is clearly done and you can understand what's happening unlike the Transformers movie which fall into just ugly CGI. The aliens are visually well realized though they admittedly look similar to the aliens in "The Avengers."
Truly if this film was budgeted at say a realistic sixty million dollars it would have been considered something of a hit. A lesson my friends of what happens when one's mouth is far bigger than one's hands.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
The Cabin In The Woods
Even if Joss Whedon hadn't kicked everyone square in the box office with the Avengers this would have still been his shining year. Why? Cause that genius wrote "The Cabin In The Woods." If he was here before me right now I'd shake his hand and kiss him on the cheek. He has created the victory lap for horror fans everywhere. In the future someone will no doubt make a better horror film, a more scary horror film, but I have doubts anyone will make a more knowing horror film.
Now some folks say the less you know about this film the better. I don't know about that, but I'll honor the fairly spoiler free coverage of the film. Let's just say that it seems like a fairly average horror film. A bunch of horny teenagers are going to a remote cabin in the woods to make out and party. A creepy guy tells them not to go. The cabin itself is pretty creepy. They really shouldn't have gone because this can't end well.
It doesn't.
So why is everyone having LOL joy kittens over this film? Well first, everything I just told is just the merest surface. What's underneath not only explains why these teens are going to die, but why EVERY teen in films like this have to die. Won't say anything more except, "Stockholm is down."
The other thing is that this film is often just side splittingly funny. In a weird way parts of the film harken to "Office Space," where people fight against corporate (and worse) dehumanizatin with humor. Whether it is an office pool or small pranks on some of the odder employees I think everyone can empathize with the situation and the humor feels real and unforced. I know I'll never think of "speakerphone" the same way ever again.
The final and probably most important reason is that in the end they bring the goods home. This is not a film that fizzles in the final reel but rather takes a big snort of moonshine and adrenalin puts on its Rambo bandana and goes completely barking mad Joe Pesci/Bruce Lee insane on the audience's collective ass. It is one of the most joyful assault on my senses I've had the pleasure to witness in a long, long time.
So, stop reading this and GO SEE IT!
Now some folks say the less you know about this film the better. I don't know about that, but I'll honor the fairly spoiler free coverage of the film. Let's just say that it seems like a fairly average horror film. A bunch of horny teenagers are going to a remote cabin in the woods to make out and party. A creepy guy tells them not to go. The cabin itself is pretty creepy. They really shouldn't have gone because this can't end well.
It doesn't.
So why is everyone having LOL joy kittens over this film? Well first, everything I just told is just the merest surface. What's underneath not only explains why these teens are going to die, but why EVERY teen in films like this have to die. Won't say anything more except, "Stockholm is down."
The other thing is that this film is often just side splittingly funny. In a weird way parts of the film harken to "Office Space," where people fight against corporate (and worse) dehumanizatin with humor. Whether it is an office pool or small pranks on some of the odder employees I think everyone can empathize with the situation and the humor feels real and unforced. I know I'll never think of "speakerphone" the same way ever again.
The final and probably most important reason is that in the end they bring the goods home. This is not a film that fizzles in the final reel but rather takes a big snort of moonshine and adrenalin puts on its Rambo bandana and goes completely barking mad Joe Pesci/Bruce Lee insane on the audience's collective ass. It is one of the most joyful assault on my senses I've had the pleasure to witness in a long, long time.
So, stop reading this and GO SEE IT!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Aladdin and the Death Lamp (and Pegasus vs. Chimera)
Hey gang! What's worse than a Syfy Saturday night film? TWO Syfy Saturday night films. Yep we had the cinematic equivalent of the asteroid event that killed the dinosaurs and boy I didn't look so good either. The first thing I noticed is that both films had the exact same behind the scene people to blame for these messes. Both even had the same three writers which probably cost less than the same talent a room full of monkeys would have brought to the scene.
Ok, So Aladdin was the better of the two. Aladdin and his buddies and his girl pal find a map to a treasure. An evil merchant/thief with several teeth MIA and his gang follow around to cause trouble. The treasure turns out to be a lamp, inside the lamp a djinn who is rather put out since he's been stuck in that lamp for years. Soooo, no one believes that the djinn will pervert wishes just so it can kill people and suck their souls out so the djinn of course perverts wishes and kills people and sucks their souls out. Also, since the writers three are absolutely sure we haven't seen "Wishmaster" there's the big subplot about the djinn wanting to free his fellow djinns so they can rain some good old fashion brimstone on the world.
Ok, writing is piss poor, or as they say in Britain "American Beer." The only interesting thing about the writing is the great pains they took to avoid as much Islam and Arabic culture as possible. Aladdin might as well been from Ohio. The acting is mostly bland though old toothless gives it a good go. The specia effects for the djinn specially for its smokey backwash is pretty good. All else is craptastic. If I had to pick the two worst the first would be a CGI snake that was so bad you could almost see through it. The Other was some poor soul being covered in liquid gold. Now when "Game of Thrones" did that it was cool, but then it looked like real molten gold not Nickolodien slime mixed with gold glitter.
I can't even go into the next feature without howling like a banshee at a baptism. Let's just say this; what comes to your mind when you think of "Pegasus." Does not a certain bit of wingage pop to mind? Soooo, when you first see Pegasus we see a horse. Of course, it's so obvious. Who needs wings.
*grumble grumble*
Ok, So Aladdin was the better of the two. Aladdin and his buddies and his girl pal find a map to a treasure. An evil merchant/thief with several teeth MIA and his gang follow around to cause trouble. The treasure turns out to be a lamp, inside the lamp a djinn who is rather put out since he's been stuck in that lamp for years. Soooo, no one believes that the djinn will pervert wishes just so it can kill people and suck their souls out so the djinn of course perverts wishes and kills people and sucks their souls out. Also, since the writers three are absolutely sure we haven't seen "Wishmaster" there's the big subplot about the djinn wanting to free his fellow djinns so they can rain some good old fashion brimstone on the world.
Ok, writing is piss poor, or as they say in Britain "American Beer." The only interesting thing about the writing is the great pains they took to avoid as much Islam and Arabic culture as possible. Aladdin might as well been from Ohio. The acting is mostly bland though old toothless gives it a good go. The specia effects for the djinn specially for its smokey backwash is pretty good. All else is craptastic. If I had to pick the two worst the first would be a CGI snake that was so bad you could almost see through it. The Other was some poor soul being covered in liquid gold. Now when "Game of Thrones" did that it was cool, but then it looked like real molten gold not Nickolodien slime mixed with gold glitter.
I can't even go into the next feature without howling like a banshee at a baptism. Let's just say this; what comes to your mind when you think of "Pegasus." Does not a certain bit of wingage pop to mind? Soooo, when you first see Pegasus we see a horse. Of course, it's so obvious. Who needs wings.
*grumble grumble*
Monday, September 10, 2012
Apocalypse of the Dead
Well nothing much new here. The government makes a zombie gas. Zombie gas gets out. People turn into zombies. Police and their terrorist suspect get caught in zombieville. Along for the ride is a professor (no Mary Anne), a bunch of kids, and a fellow who's been getting ready for the zombie apocalypse for years.
The Serbian location does grant if not anything new at least the illusion of freshness. The acting, writing and make up are all fairly decent. It moves along at a brisk rate and if you like zombie flicks this is better than most.
The Serbian location does grant if not anything new at least the illusion of freshness. The acting, writing and make up are all fairly decent. It moves along at a brisk rate and if you like zombie flicks this is better than most.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Area 407
Area 407 just frost my jimmies I tell you and I am going to tell you. Oh, there will be spoilers so consider yourself warned. Usually a bad film doesn't annoy me. I get more often than not a little sad that some young film makers screwed their chance, but not this time.
It only took five seconds as well.
Area 407 is a found footage film so you know already half of what you are in for. Shakey cams and cheap scare moments. The particular of the plot is that a bunch of meatbags are in a plane and then the plane goes down and goes bang. Before you can say "Lost" the plane came down in two halves so of course of the survivors want to find the other half so they go off stumbling in the dark.
What can go wrong?
Well, being a horror movie the answer is "a lot." It isn't too long before there are screams of people and growls from something else. Something big, and obviously camera shy since even when people are snatched right in the camera frame its done in a way so you can't see the beasties. Now I don't want to be a nit picker, but there are several times where we are suppose to believe the beasties are dragging people into the dark. The problem was I could at several times see the feet of the people so unless the beastie was invisible it was obvious they were being dragged by a rope.
Anyway, the shrinking number of survivors find several shacks and army surrplus. They even find some army folk but they are as nearly shy as the beasties. It's like our poor survivors have cooties. So the military over a radio give them the run around and the old "Stay calm" speech. The survivors are not staying calm specially one fellow who tried awfully hard to annoy the rest to the point that they would shot him over the beasties.
Ok, now the spoiler. I spent my time watching this film with a growing sense of boredom. Screaming your head off and running in the dark will only get you so far. I kept watching though because films like this generally have a reveal at the end and I wanted to see what the beastie looked like. Now right before the last survivors get killed by a government agent but that didn't bother me too much. In a film of cheap scares a cheap downer ending wasn't out of place. Then the agent looks behind him and the beastie got him. And what was it? Oh just a dinosaur done in the cheapest Syfy level CGI. A dinosaur? You know if you are going to tease me for an hour an half you better do more than a dinosaur. I just finished watching the cheapest possible version of Jurassic Park. No actors, no sets, no script to speak of, and five seconds of special effects. So yeah it only took five seconds to get my goat, frost my jimmies and throw my plush cthulhu at the screen.
So you have been warned.
It only took five seconds as well.
Area 407 is a found footage film so you know already half of what you are in for. Shakey cams and cheap scare moments. The particular of the plot is that a bunch of meatbags are in a plane and then the plane goes down and goes bang. Before you can say "Lost" the plane came down in two halves so of course of the survivors want to find the other half so they go off stumbling in the dark.
What can go wrong?
Well, being a horror movie the answer is "a lot." It isn't too long before there are screams of people and growls from something else. Something big, and obviously camera shy since even when people are snatched right in the camera frame its done in a way so you can't see the beasties. Now I don't want to be a nit picker, but there are several times where we are suppose to believe the beasties are dragging people into the dark. The problem was I could at several times see the feet of the people so unless the beastie was invisible it was obvious they were being dragged by a rope.
Anyway, the shrinking number of survivors find several shacks and army surrplus. They even find some army folk but they are as nearly shy as the beasties. It's like our poor survivors have cooties. So the military over a radio give them the run around and the old "Stay calm" speech. The survivors are not staying calm specially one fellow who tried awfully hard to annoy the rest to the point that they would shot him over the beasties.
Ok, now the spoiler. I spent my time watching this film with a growing sense of boredom. Screaming your head off and running in the dark will only get you so far. I kept watching though because films like this generally have a reveal at the end and I wanted to see what the beastie looked like. Now right before the last survivors get killed by a government agent but that didn't bother me too much. In a film of cheap scares a cheap downer ending wasn't out of place. Then the agent looks behind him and the beastie got him. And what was it? Oh just a dinosaur done in the cheapest Syfy level CGI. A dinosaur? You know if you are going to tease me for an hour an half you better do more than a dinosaur. I just finished watching the cheapest possible version of Jurassic Park. No actors, no sets, no script to speak of, and five seconds of special effects. So yeah it only took five seconds to get my goat, frost my jimmies and throw my plush cthulhu at the screen.
So you have been warned.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Bernie
This just a great film. I feel all gushy about it. I even showed it to my mom (a rare event our tastes are light years apart), and was amazed how much she liked Jack Black. So if a film can bring us together on anything it has to be a pretty special little film.
It's based on a tale of true crime. See Bernie, here played by Jack Black, is an assistant funeral director in a small Texan town. He's oddly enough the life of the party, the spring in the step and just about the nicest guy you'd ever meet. Oh, he wasn't perfect he had a problem with shopping too much and folks would gossip on whether or not he was gay or not; but over all life was good for Bernie and everyone liked him.
Things change for Bernie when he sets sights on the meanest old woman in town. Who knows why, maybe it was a challenge to him. Maybe he really did believe that everyone had some good in them. Wrong. It quickly becomes a toxic relationship where Bernie is trapped because he's simply too nice to tell her to take a long walk off a short pier.
Well, suddenly the meanest woman in town is no longer in sight. Bernie makes excuses and proceeds to spend her money (on her behalf, of course) to help the town. Eventually this will not stand and soon the town is filled with the gossip that Bernie has killed the old hag. The rest of the film follows the town's reaction and the trial.
This is a great little low key film. What really brings it to life is the acting of Jack Black and Shirley MacLaine. I've always liked Jack but sometimes he doesn't choose good vehicles and he can go over the top in his acting at the drop of a check. Here, he's restrained and just perfect in the role of the soft hearted Bernie. We also get to hear him sing something different than rock and roll. His gospel renditions are just beautiful. Shirley MacLaine doesn't have a lot of lines in the film but she really sells her wicked witch character just by body language and a lemony face. She's more prickly than a porcupine with a bad case of static shock. Together they are truly an odd couple, but they sell it so well!
It's based on a tale of true crime. See Bernie, here played by Jack Black, is an assistant funeral director in a small Texan town. He's oddly enough the life of the party, the spring in the step and just about the nicest guy you'd ever meet. Oh, he wasn't perfect he had a problem with shopping too much and folks would gossip on whether or not he was gay or not; but over all life was good for Bernie and everyone liked him.
Things change for Bernie when he sets sights on the meanest old woman in town. Who knows why, maybe it was a challenge to him. Maybe he really did believe that everyone had some good in them. Wrong. It quickly becomes a toxic relationship where Bernie is trapped because he's simply too nice to tell her to take a long walk off a short pier.
Well, suddenly the meanest woman in town is no longer in sight. Bernie makes excuses and proceeds to spend her money (on her behalf, of course) to help the town. Eventually this will not stand and soon the town is filled with the gossip that Bernie has killed the old hag. The rest of the film follows the town's reaction and the trial.
This is a great little low key film. What really brings it to life is the acting of Jack Black and Shirley MacLaine. I've always liked Jack but sometimes he doesn't choose good vehicles and he can go over the top in his acting at the drop of a check. Here, he's restrained and just perfect in the role of the soft hearted Bernie. We also get to hear him sing something different than rock and roll. His gospel renditions are just beautiful. Shirley MacLaine doesn't have a lot of lines in the film but she really sells her wicked witch character just by body language and a lemony face. She's more prickly than a porcupine with a bad case of static shock. Together they are truly an odd couple, but they sell it so well!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
The Portal
I now dread seeing a flaming horse running in the night. That is the logo of Maverick Entertainment and they are for all practical purposes the dregs of the industry. They are the guys that will buy the films the Asylum won't touch. Still, every dog has its day and "The Portal" is at least a false dawn.
It's not a good movie but it is certainly heads and shoulders above Maverick's usual fair. There's definitely a sense of ambition you don't usually see. Even the casting is better going from E and D list to at least folks you might have heard of like Roddy Piper, Stacy Keach and Michael Madsen. Each do their little bit of scene chewing and certainly help keeps up interest.
The plot is folks fear that there's a new Ebola type virus going around. It's certainly a rather nasty thing since people generally die with their heads blowing off. Well it shouldn't surprise folks that it's not a disease. Rather, folks have been finding the Portal (in this case a picture) and looking at it. Howard would tell you that's a bad thing. At first though it's nice, it's like drug high nice. Unfortunately, something comes through the portal and comes after you and then you are bleeding all over and your head explodes. Can Stacy Keach tell our young doctors how to avoid intent head aches? Well you'd have to watch to find out. If you are a horror fan there are some interesting things here and some atmosphere so it isn't a total waste.
It's not a good movie but it is certainly heads and shoulders above Maverick's usual fair. There's definitely a sense of ambition you don't usually see. Even the casting is better going from E and D list to at least folks you might have heard of like Roddy Piper, Stacy Keach and Michael Madsen. Each do their little bit of scene chewing and certainly help keeps up interest.
The plot is folks fear that there's a new Ebola type virus going around. It's certainly a rather nasty thing since people generally die with their heads blowing off. Well it shouldn't surprise folks that it's not a disease. Rather, folks have been finding the Portal (in this case a picture) and looking at it. Howard would tell you that's a bad thing. At first though it's nice, it's like drug high nice. Unfortunately, something comes through the portal and comes after you and then you are bleeding all over and your head explodes. Can Stacy Keach tell our young doctors how to avoid intent head aches? Well you'd have to watch to find out. If you are a horror fan there are some interesting things here and some atmosphere so it isn't a total waste.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
The Three Stooges
The Farrelly brothers have done some funny stuff, but I don't trust them. Maybe they get into a zone and don't realize it but sometimes they cross the line for me. This was clearly shown in the movie "Dumb and Dumber" when Jim Carrey sold a blind kid a dead bird with it's head attached to it by tape. This wasn't dumb, or even dumber it was just plain mean.
It's that mean streak that sometimes pop up that made me worried when they took on the Three Stooges. The originals were no shrinking violets so it seemed to me that it would be easier to go over the line. Luckily that didn't happen. The movie is a very respectful of its main characters.
That is unfortunately the problem of the film.
Quite simple "respect" and "Three Stooges" work about as well as a matter/anti-matter cocktail. While the Stooges in this film do some pretty wild anarchic gags the tone of the film is just a little too laid back. Like in some bad comedies there's a sense that the film is waiting one extra beat to let the audience laugh it up.
The plot is straight out of the old shorts. The Stooges have been raised up in an orphanage by nuns. The orphanage is about to get shut down so the boys have to go raise up and outrageous amount of money in a month. As they search for work they accidently get involved with a murder for hire scheme and meet again an old friend who got adopted by rich parents at the expense of Moe. That last little subplot really has no place in a Stooge's film as it leads to a too gooey "I luvs use guys" moment.
It's not all bad though. Will Sasso made a fine Curley, and Larry David was great fun as Sister Mary-Mengele. Some of the gags were fairly good slaps stick and there were points where I admit to a smile and a chuckle. So if you are a fan it is definitely worth a look.
It's that mean streak that sometimes pop up that made me worried when they took on the Three Stooges. The originals were no shrinking violets so it seemed to me that it would be easier to go over the line. Luckily that didn't happen. The movie is a very respectful of its main characters.
That is unfortunately the problem of the film.
Quite simple "respect" and "Three Stooges" work about as well as a matter/anti-matter cocktail. While the Stooges in this film do some pretty wild anarchic gags the tone of the film is just a little too laid back. Like in some bad comedies there's a sense that the film is waiting one extra beat to let the audience laugh it up.
The plot is straight out of the old shorts. The Stooges have been raised up in an orphanage by nuns. The orphanage is about to get shut down so the boys have to go raise up and outrageous amount of money in a month. As they search for work they accidently get involved with a murder for hire scheme and meet again an old friend who got adopted by rich parents at the expense of Moe. That last little subplot really has no place in a Stooge's film as it leads to a too gooey "I luvs use guys" moment.
It's not all bad though. Will Sasso made a fine Curley, and Larry David was great fun as Sister Mary-Mengele. Some of the gags were fairly good slaps stick and there were points where I admit to a smile and a chuckle. So if you are a fan it is definitely worth a look.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Shakes the Clown
I was never a fan of the comedy "Stylings" of Bobcat Goldthwait. His killing a rooster vocal delivery just made my head ache. Didn't help that he was a part of the Police Academy series which surely must have scarred a generation of film goers. Will the horror never end?
Then I saw "Shakes the Clown." I can now say that there is indeed a thinking, creative person named Bobcat Goldthwait and I very much like this Bobcat. Some critic called Shakes "The Citizen Kane of drunken clown movies." While that's a bit of an overstatement what we have here is a truly mature work of art that marries comedy with a rough down and out edge reality not out of step with Bukowski.
Shakes is a clown and he's an alcoholic. No, Shakes is an alcoholic and a clown. As a clown he's actually pretty good, even when half crocked he can do amazing clown things. As an alcoholic though Shakes is a shambling failure of a human. He's destroying his relationships specially with his Elmira Fuddite girlfriend and bowler played by Julie Brown. His friends can't trust him. His work is slipping and he faces firing. Oh and he lost his chance for TV to the town's most unfunniest clown Binkie the coke head.
Binkie though couldn't leave well enough alone and when he kills Shakes boss he sets Shakes up to take the fall. Shakes now is truly motivated to stop drinking and find out just what is going on. It leads to the underworld of clown culture. It seems there is a distinct pecking order. Party clowns beat up on mimes and rodeo clowns beat up on everyone. Shakes has to take responsiblity. He has to take control. He has to stop waking up in strange ladies homes being peed on by little kids. It shows how good a film this is that you are really drawn into his plight even as you savor the absurdity of Shake's world.
Here's one of the songs on the soundtrack here
Then I saw "Shakes the Clown." I can now say that there is indeed a thinking, creative person named Bobcat Goldthwait and I very much like this Bobcat. Some critic called Shakes "The Citizen Kane of drunken clown movies." While that's a bit of an overstatement what we have here is a truly mature work of art that marries comedy with a rough down and out edge reality not out of step with Bukowski.
Shakes is a clown and he's an alcoholic. No, Shakes is an alcoholic and a clown. As a clown he's actually pretty good, even when half crocked he can do amazing clown things. As an alcoholic though Shakes is a shambling failure of a human. He's destroying his relationships specially with his Elmira Fuddite girlfriend and bowler played by Julie Brown. His friends can't trust him. His work is slipping and he faces firing. Oh and he lost his chance for TV to the town's most unfunniest clown Binkie the coke head.
Binkie though couldn't leave well enough alone and when he kills Shakes boss he sets Shakes up to take the fall. Shakes now is truly motivated to stop drinking and find out just what is going on. It leads to the underworld of clown culture. It seems there is a distinct pecking order. Party clowns beat up on mimes and rodeo clowns beat up on everyone. Shakes has to take responsiblity. He has to take control. He has to stop waking up in strange ladies homes being peed on by little kids. It shows how good a film this is that you are really drawn into his plight even as you savor the absurdity of Shake's world.
Here's one of the songs on the soundtrack here
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Piranha DD
The original Piranha was a decent monster movie with some sly humor here and there. The remake was crass and vulgar but in a rather delightful way. The sequel is jut crass and vulgar. Worst of all it's lazy. It does nothing new and just apes the plot point of the first nearly beat for beat. When it adds something you can beat it was from some other film. It's like, "Hey remember Planet Terror? Let's give Ving shotgun legs!"
The plot involves a water park run by a sleazy corrupt step father of our final girl for this film. How sleazy is he? Well he's installed strippers instead of lifeguards and has a nude swimming pool armed with "Cootch Cams." He's also spreading graft and bribes around so he can secretly pump his own water and not be on the grid. Said water is of course filled with killer piranha and everything else works pretty much like you think it would.
The special effects are on par with the first film. They try to up the ante on the violence but scenes involving an unknowing three way between man, woman, and fish just wind up being ugly and not scary or darkly funny like in the first one. The cameos also are ham fistedly inserted into the film. Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhamses manfully handle their woefully underwritten scenes. Gary Busey, though, just looks lost and David Hasselhoff was just sad. Admittedly, his role was suppose to be a sad role in that he was playing "himself" as a washed out overaged celebrity hasbeen, but there is no bite to his role to lift it up to something like comedy.
Look, it's no worse than most straight DVD horror films. But it disappoints because there was more money here, some decent actors and at least a pedigree of entertainment. Instead we get tired, lazy, and stupid writing supported by mostly lack luster acting. It's just sad.
The plot involves a water park run by a sleazy corrupt step father of our final girl for this film. How sleazy is he? Well he's installed strippers instead of lifeguards and has a nude swimming pool armed with "Cootch Cams." He's also spreading graft and bribes around so he can secretly pump his own water and not be on the grid. Said water is of course filled with killer piranha and everything else works pretty much like you think it would.
The special effects are on par with the first film. They try to up the ante on the violence but scenes involving an unknowing three way between man, woman, and fish just wind up being ugly and not scary or darkly funny like in the first one. The cameos also are ham fistedly inserted into the film. Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhamses manfully handle their woefully underwritten scenes. Gary Busey, though, just looks lost and David Hasselhoff was just sad. Admittedly, his role was suppose to be a sad role in that he was playing "himself" as a washed out overaged celebrity hasbeen, but there is no bite to his role to lift it up to something like comedy.
Look, it's no worse than most straight DVD horror films. But it disappoints because there was more money here, some decent actors and at least a pedigree of entertainment. Instead we get tired, lazy, and stupid writing supported by mostly lack luster acting. It's just sad.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
In "The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy," after much research Ford Perfect declared the Earth to be "Mostly Harmless." I could apply the same rating for this movie. Kids will like and adults can sit through it rather painlessly with an occasional chuckle.
The movie has Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson playing stepfather to a rather wild teen. He is searching for his Grandfather whom he believes is on Jules Verne's Mysterious Island which is a real place. After about a minute of code breaking they figure where it is and go off to the South Pacific. There they hire Luis Guzman and his daughter to fly a helicopter to the island. Obviously it wouldn't be a Mysterious Island if it was easy to get to and they crash. They also find the Island to be a mismatch of big animals now small and small animals now absolutely huge. In this mess they find Grandfather played by Michael Caine with a lot more joy than one would expect in a part like this. Together they try to get off the island by trying to reach Captain Nemo's submarine.
I like the interactions between the actor. Caine and the Rock form an amusing prickly relationship. They both want on the best for their boy and try a bit of semi friendly one upmanship over him. Guzman on the other hand forms an almost puppy dog attachment to the rock. He happily plays Sancho Panza to the Rock's pec rocking Don Quixote. Josh Hutcherson and Kristin Davis form an appealing couple that aren't so much sweetness and light that it would want to make you gag.
The special effects are all right. I didn't see it in three D, but I can tell that it was definitely part of the design of the film and not carpentered up over it in post. The overall design is eye catching and colorful. If I have a couple of problems with the film they are just small nagging logical problems in the situation. For example, the island supposedly sinks on a regular basis. What happens to the giant animals when the island sinks? Enquiring minds want to know.
The movie has Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson playing stepfather to a rather wild teen. He is searching for his Grandfather whom he believes is on Jules Verne's Mysterious Island which is a real place. After about a minute of code breaking they figure where it is and go off to the South Pacific. There they hire Luis Guzman and his daughter to fly a helicopter to the island. Obviously it wouldn't be a Mysterious Island if it was easy to get to and they crash. They also find the Island to be a mismatch of big animals now small and small animals now absolutely huge. In this mess they find Grandfather played by Michael Caine with a lot more joy than one would expect in a part like this. Together they try to get off the island by trying to reach Captain Nemo's submarine.
I like the interactions between the actor. Caine and the Rock form an amusing prickly relationship. They both want on the best for their boy and try a bit of semi friendly one upmanship over him. Guzman on the other hand forms an almost puppy dog attachment to the rock. He happily plays Sancho Panza to the Rock's pec rocking Don Quixote. Josh Hutcherson and Kristin Davis form an appealing couple that aren't so much sweetness and light that it would want to make you gag.
The special effects are all right. I didn't see it in three D, but I can tell that it was definitely part of the design of the film and not carpentered up over it in post. The overall design is eye catching and colorful. If I have a couple of problems with the film they are just small nagging logical problems in the situation. For example, the island supposedly sinks on a regular basis. What happens to the giant animals when the island sinks? Enquiring minds want to know.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I Kissed A Vampire
I really like projects like "I Kissed a Vampire," not because it is ground breaking but because it shows that people can still make a difference from the ground up in an industry obsessed with 200 million dollar blockbusters. "I Kissed a Vampire," started life as a web series and became popular enough to be made into a movie. It's a simple musical about the boy and girl next door dealing with being turned into vampires. Their source of temptation is the bad boy rocking vampire Trey Sylvania and his bad girls. Their one hope is in the dubious hands of Dan Hellsing.
The music is bright bouncy pop tunes. The actors are appealing. Some of the lines are amusing. It reminds me a lot of the Buffy episode that was a musical. Definitely, not deep but fun and sometimes folks that counts for a lot in this world.
The music is bright bouncy pop tunes. The actors are appealing. Some of the lines are amusing. It reminds me a lot of the Buffy episode that was a musical. Definitely, not deep but fun and sometimes folks that counts for a lot in this world.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Superheroes
This is a fascinating documentary about the real life "superheroes" walking the streets at night. First I was amazed at how many there were and secondly by the range. Oh there were the self deluded fanboys to be sure but then there was the New York Initiative that were serious business even to the point of learning to be EMTs. I don't know what to make of Master Legend who says as a child he was forced to fight in KKK sponsored child fights and believes God has told him to fight evil. He also between crime fighting enjoys beer and flirting with any pretty lady in sight. Truly there are some extreme personalities in this bunch of bananas.
Actually most of them seem fairly harmless and they do commit good deeds even if they aren't fighting toe to toe with evil. Many work hard to help the homeless and they try to keep the public informed on various things. Still, specially after Colorado, I think we all view someone coming up our street in spandex with grave suspicions.
Actually most of them seem fairly harmless and they do commit good deeds even if they aren't fighting toe to toe with evil. Many work hard to help the homeless and they try to keep the public informed on various things. Still, specially after Colorado, I think we all view someone coming up our street in spandex with grave suspicions.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Superman Vs. The Elite
It's often been said that Superman's message has become tired and cliche. In the last movie with him they even tried to skip the line about, "the American way." I guess it might seem to boyscoutish, and perhaps even corny. But don't the best ideas often require the most faith? In this film there is a scene where Superman addresses the UN and says the world is not broken and that "the grace of Humanity can be seen everywhere. I like phrase, "the grace of Humanity," I wish we would look more for that grace than the darkness that is Humanity's shadow.
As a character Superman absolutely needs a strong moral philosphy. He must have needed one from an early age. After all one little temper tantrum could have utterly destroyed the Kent farm. But you can't have a moral code without faith, and faith sometimes can be questioned and that is the heat of Superman Vs. The Elite.
It starts with a credit sequence that makes use of the pop culture Superman and then segues into a cartoon with Superman in full corny boy scout mode. We pull back and we see the real Superman and Lois Lane debating the cartoon of him they were just watching. Superman/Clark argues that he made a deal so that all the money he could have earned goes to charity. Lois argues that he needs to treat his "S" with more respect. Clark has no real response to that since he knows she is right. I think though he might have said that the "S" has already been degraded to some extent so why not make the most good of it? But before he can answer they are attacked by the Atomic Skull.
The Atomic Skull is a third rate player but they certainly bulked him up for this feature. He is now openly killing people just to coax Superman into battle. This makes for a very personal battle between the two and in the end Superman clearly has a moment where he wants to kill the Skull. He doesn't of course, because while everyone else thinks it's corny he still has faith.
The Elite pop up after this and at first they seem like they could be ok. They are a little rough around the edges and a little creepy but they seem to be on the side of good. Superman befriends them at first and even gives them some tips. Not that these cheeky souls take advice well. They are led by Manchester Black who looks like a roadie for The Who and has incedible telekenetic power. There's a tough guy, and a lady with bugs and things coming out of her. My favorite was the Hat who was a drunk magician always pulling bottles out of his hat.
The fun ends though when the Elite give THEIR message. That message is might is right, we have the might and we'll decide who is right and we'll kill any wanker who we think is a bad guy or gives us the stink eye. Of course Superman can't let them get away with this. The trouble is, besides being incredibly powerful of course, is that the public is eating up what the Elite stand for.
So in the end Superman has to kill their message as well as take out the Elite, because if he doesn't then there is nothing to stop a new Elite forming. So in the end of the film Superman takes their argument to its logical end and shows the world what a Superman completely unleashed might be like. If I was a citizen of Metropolis at that point I think I would have to make a pants check after seeing that.
This is a good exciting film. I like the bad guys, loved how they handled Superman. Once again, DC's animated division shows folks how to do it right.
As a character Superman absolutely needs a strong moral philosphy. He must have needed one from an early age. After all one little temper tantrum could have utterly destroyed the Kent farm. But you can't have a moral code without faith, and faith sometimes can be questioned and that is the heat of Superman Vs. The Elite.
It starts with a credit sequence that makes use of the pop culture Superman and then segues into a cartoon with Superman in full corny boy scout mode. We pull back and we see the real Superman and Lois Lane debating the cartoon of him they were just watching. Superman/Clark argues that he made a deal so that all the money he could have earned goes to charity. Lois argues that he needs to treat his "S" with more respect. Clark has no real response to that since he knows she is right. I think though he might have said that the "S" has already been degraded to some extent so why not make the most good of it? But before he can answer they are attacked by the Atomic Skull.
The Atomic Skull is a third rate player but they certainly bulked him up for this feature. He is now openly killing people just to coax Superman into battle. This makes for a very personal battle between the two and in the end Superman clearly has a moment where he wants to kill the Skull. He doesn't of course, because while everyone else thinks it's corny he still has faith.
The Elite pop up after this and at first they seem like they could be ok. They are a little rough around the edges and a little creepy but they seem to be on the side of good. Superman befriends them at first and even gives them some tips. Not that these cheeky souls take advice well. They are led by Manchester Black who looks like a roadie for The Who and has incedible telekenetic power. There's a tough guy, and a lady with bugs and things coming out of her. My favorite was the Hat who was a drunk magician always pulling bottles out of his hat.
The fun ends though when the Elite give THEIR message. That message is might is right, we have the might and we'll decide who is right and we'll kill any wanker who we think is a bad guy or gives us the stink eye. Of course Superman can't let them get away with this. The trouble is, besides being incredibly powerful of course, is that the public is eating up what the Elite stand for.
So in the end Superman has to kill their message as well as take out the Elite, because if he doesn't then there is nothing to stop a new Elite forming. So in the end of the film Superman takes their argument to its logical end and shows the world what a Superman completely unleashed might be like. If I was a citizen of Metropolis at that point I think I would have to make a pants check after seeing that.
This is a good exciting film. I like the bad guys, loved how they handled Superman. Once again, DC's animated division shows folks how to do it right.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice
Sooooo... eight years after the first corny killer kid movie we have this. I think they were just a leeetle over optimistic to label this the "final" sacrifice, but to their discredit they did their worst to make this the final Children of the Corn movie. If the first film was tepid then this is just a hot mess.
People finally notice that there are a lot of dead adults in Gatlin. So there is a news van and a couple of reporters, and some cops. Oh then there is our hero who is a disreputable journalist with his willfull son in tow who decide to stop in town and see if there is a story to be had in one of the largest mass murders in US history. Meanwhile, a local kid in the WORST cgi scene outside of "The Lawnmower Man," becomes possessed by ....black bubbles and starts the cult over and kills people pointlessly. Will they recruit the journalist's son? Will the journalist live to fight the black bubbles of evil? Yeah, well... no one cared. I mean really no one cared.
Besides the bad plot, bad cgi, horrific acting, the thing the bugs me most is how they treat the mass murder. Granted the film has a dollar forty budget but we are talking about a bunch of kids that murdered AN ENTIRE TOWN. That deserves the hysterical frothing of the mouth journalism of Oliver Stone's "Natural Born Killers." Here we get sort of a "meh." And that says everything about this film.
People finally notice that there are a lot of dead adults in Gatlin. So there is a news van and a couple of reporters, and some cops. Oh then there is our hero who is a disreputable journalist with his willfull son in tow who decide to stop in town and see if there is a story to be had in one of the largest mass murders in US history. Meanwhile, a local kid in the WORST cgi scene outside of "The Lawnmower Man," becomes possessed by ....black bubbles and starts the cult over and kills people pointlessly. Will they recruit the journalist's son? Will the journalist live to fight the black bubbles of evil? Yeah, well... no one cared. I mean really no one cared.
Besides the bad plot, bad cgi, horrific acting, the thing the bugs me most is how they treat the mass murder. Granted the film has a dollar forty budget but we are talking about a bunch of kids that murdered AN ENTIRE TOWN. That deserves the hysterical frothing of the mouth journalism of Oliver Stone's "Natural Born Killers." Here we get sort of a "meh." And that says everything about this film.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Children of the Corn (1984)
The original Stephen King story, "Children of the Corn," was an eerie, scary read. That was about it. Didn't really have any deep meanings, and it wasn't the greatest story ever written. It's not even the greatest Stephen King story ever. Yet, it was the foundation for this movie, a revamp, and nearly too many sequels to count. Exactly why I cannot begin to guess, the mystery of Hollywood I guess.
The original film was released in 1984 and sort of falls into the slasher category. A bunch of kids get religion real bad, and it's a real bad religion. They follow "He Who Walks Behind the Rows," and they believe he wants them to kill all the adults of the small farming community. This leads to a fairly shocking scene of mass murder that kicks off the film.
We then cut to a couple on the road to a better place. Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton play Burt and Vickey and basically that's about all we know about them before they run down a kid in the middle of the road. It's ok though, the kid had his throat cut so they didn't REALLY kill the kid. Anyway, they find their way to Gaitlin to report what happened and find it is creepy central and full of killer kids (well mostly teens but you understand). So first they have to fight the kids before having a showdown with Mr. He Who Walks Behind the Rows that we never get a good look at. In the end they leave the town with the two "good" kids and everyone is happy.
Now you do have to add some material to stretch a small story to film length, but what they did here was fairly criminal. First off, there were no "good" kids in the story, they were all psychotic little snookers. Secondly, Burt and Vickey were far from a happy couple in the story. The tension in their relationship added further suspense in the story since you were never sure if they could reach out and help each other. Finally, there was no happy ending, except perhaps for the killer kids but even they had to deal with a new ruling from their god that they get live one less year.
So basically they took a spooky story and turned it to a standard Hollywood type story. Add to that fairly uninspired direction by Fritz Kiersch (his other big film was "Gor" and that should tell everything), and just a shoddy overall production. It's a wonder that this film somehow inspired a whole host of sequels. At least the first "Howling" was good, for example. This is at best bland with a few scenes not withstanding. I supose it works mostly because the audience WANTS it to work. We get a special feeling of taboo from seeing children killing their parents that we don't get from a Jason or a Freddy Krueger.
Critics probably liked it because they could write how "corny" it was. We critics can be easy to please sometimes.
The original film was released in 1984 and sort of falls into the slasher category. A bunch of kids get religion real bad, and it's a real bad religion. They follow "He Who Walks Behind the Rows," and they believe he wants them to kill all the adults of the small farming community. This leads to a fairly shocking scene of mass murder that kicks off the film.
We then cut to a couple on the road to a better place. Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton play Burt and Vickey and basically that's about all we know about them before they run down a kid in the middle of the road. It's ok though, the kid had his throat cut so they didn't REALLY kill the kid. Anyway, they find their way to Gaitlin to report what happened and find it is creepy central and full of killer kids (well mostly teens but you understand). So first they have to fight the kids before having a showdown with Mr. He Who Walks Behind the Rows that we never get a good look at. In the end they leave the town with the two "good" kids and everyone is happy.
Now you do have to add some material to stretch a small story to film length, but what they did here was fairly criminal. First off, there were no "good" kids in the story, they were all psychotic little snookers. Secondly, Burt and Vickey were far from a happy couple in the story. The tension in their relationship added further suspense in the story since you were never sure if they could reach out and help each other. Finally, there was no happy ending, except perhaps for the killer kids but even they had to deal with a new ruling from their god that they get live one less year.
So basically they took a spooky story and turned it to a standard Hollywood type story. Add to that fairly uninspired direction by Fritz Kiersch (his other big film was "Gor" and that should tell everything), and just a shoddy overall production. It's a wonder that this film somehow inspired a whole host of sequels. At least the first "Howling" was good, for example. This is at best bland with a few scenes not withstanding. I supose it works mostly because the audience WANTS it to work. We get a special feeling of taboo from seeing children killing their parents that we don't get from a Jason or a Freddy Krueger.
Critics probably liked it because they could write how "corny" it was. We critics can be easy to please sometimes.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
The Shrine
This atmospheric little chiller works because it doesn't answer questions. It lets the mysterious stay mysterious. It does this mostly through a fish out of water type plot where a bunch of journalists are investigating a small Polish village. English is not spoken, the inhabitants are not friendly and we the audience aren't blessed with subtitles so we are in the same boat as the characters. The journalists are there looking for a missing person.
What they find instead is inexplicable.
There's a fog like cloud that doesn't move. There is a statue of a demon within the cloud. When the inhabitants find out that they've visited "the shrine" they try to capture and kill them. The rest of the film is a very tense sequences of captures, deaths, and escapes.
This is a very good horror film that works hard to more than just violence. You find yourself thinking about it and the whys it never answers.
What they find instead is inexplicable.
There's a fog like cloud that doesn't move. There is a statue of a demon within the cloud. When the inhabitants find out that they've visited "the shrine" they try to capture and kill them. The rest of the film is a very tense sequences of captures, deaths, and escapes.
This is a very good horror film that works hard to more than just violence. You find yourself thinking about it and the whys it never answers.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Arachnoquake
Ah Syfy.......
....well at least this was better than "Piranhaconda." How can the set the bar so low? What film won't they show? Actually that's been answered over at Topless Robot and after you watch it you'll weep that your children has to live on an Earth with such a horror.
Back to the task at hand, our hero for tonight is very laid back. He thinks nothing of coming in hung over two hours late and missing one of the tour boats. The good news is his boss is his dad. The bad news is that his boss is his dad. Our hero gets demoted to tour bus (do we really want him on the road in his condition??), and picks up a bunch of meat, um I mean tourists. What no one knows is that an earthquake the night before has released a bunch of spiders small and large. It was an..... Arachnoquake! DUH DUH DUUUUUUUHHHHH.
Now when I was young and played Dungeons & Dragons I noticed many game masters were always trying to surprise the players with something new. It didn't matter if it made any logical sense as long as it did the damage. So you'd come up with humming birds that spit acid, or man eating giraffes. The same principle applies here with these spiders. The range in size from hand sized to two stories high. They have sonar. They can implant eggs in people that pop out as baby spiders at very inconvenient times. They are poisonous and use webs like sticky lassos. Oh, and they breath fire. Cute aren't they?
With such an array of powers the number of meat//actors gets small real quick. Luckily, there is resupplies from the mililtary, red neck bubbas, a girl's soft ball team on a bus, and our heroes dad and sister on a boat. Even still things are looking bleak, but wait! There's a queen spider and if you kill it all the other spiders will die. And the scientist pretty much pulled that one out the rear end, one hopes for a goodly amount of preperation H. Can our hero man up, get responsible, and kill the queen? Yeah, you already know.
The film at least moves fast, and no one is too painful to watch. I again like the musical choices. There is definitely a feel of New Orleans. So overall if you like bad films you could find worse than this.
....well at least this was better than "Piranhaconda." How can the set the bar so low? What film won't they show? Actually that's been answered over at Topless Robot and after you watch it you'll weep that your children has to live on an Earth with such a horror.
Back to the task at hand, our hero for tonight is very laid back. He thinks nothing of coming in hung over two hours late and missing one of the tour boats. The good news is his boss is his dad. The bad news is that his boss is his dad. Our hero gets demoted to tour bus (do we really want him on the road in his condition??), and picks up a bunch of meat, um I mean tourists. What no one knows is that an earthquake the night before has released a bunch of spiders small and large. It was an..... Arachnoquake! DUH DUH DUUUUUUUHHHHH.
Now when I was young and played Dungeons & Dragons I noticed many game masters were always trying to surprise the players with something new. It didn't matter if it made any logical sense as long as it did the damage. So you'd come up with humming birds that spit acid, or man eating giraffes. The same principle applies here with these spiders. The range in size from hand sized to two stories high. They have sonar. They can implant eggs in people that pop out as baby spiders at very inconvenient times. They are poisonous and use webs like sticky lassos. Oh, and they breath fire. Cute aren't they?
With such an array of powers the number of meat//actors gets small real quick. Luckily, there is resupplies from the mililtary, red neck bubbas, a girl's soft ball team on a bus, and our heroes dad and sister on a boat. Even still things are looking bleak, but wait! There's a queen spider and if you kill it all the other spiders will die. And the scientist pretty much pulled that one out the rear end, one hopes for a goodly amount of preperation H. Can our hero man up, get responsible, and kill the queen? Yeah, you already know.
The film at least moves fast, and no one is too painful to watch. I again like the musical choices. There is definitely a feel of New Orleans. So overall if you like bad films you could find worse than this.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
The Fields
This is a very interesting little film. It sort of looks like a standard horror film but then it zigs into a very odd slice of americana during a rather intense time for us. The year is 1973 and a young boy is sent to live in the country with his grandparents. Things are a little stressful at home specially since Daddy pointed the gun at Mommy's head. They are trying a trial seperation before there is need of a trial. Each has found their own bar and bottle to crawl into. The grandparents are caring but are also rather odd, specially grandma played with crankypants joy by Cloris Leachman. So the kid is left basically by himself to try to figure things out like whether he should worry about finding Charles Manson under his bed, or what to do about the dead body he discovered in the cornfields.
This is certainly an actor's film with Cloris taking the lead, but the young boy (Joshua Ormond) does pretty well conveying a child's view of a rather weird and twisted world. Sometimes there are fun moments like I love the overly dramatic music that plays when he pretends to be Godzilla. Other times he encounters situations where you wish there a monster with a zipper running down its back. Trust me a visit to Aunt Grace is not something you will ever forget.
Definitely worth a view for film viewers who are in it for more than money shots or two hundred fifty million dollar budgets.
This is certainly an actor's film with Cloris taking the lead, but the young boy (Joshua Ormond) does pretty well conveying a child's view of a rather weird and twisted world. Sometimes there are fun moments like I love the overly dramatic music that plays when he pretends to be Godzilla. Other times he encounters situations where you wish there a monster with a zipper running down its back. Trust me a visit to Aunt Grace is not something you will ever forget.
Definitely worth a view for film viewers who are in it for more than money shots or two hundred fifty million dollar budgets.
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