Oh Syfy, syfy syfy.....
sigh.....
Look it's not even that "Battleship" had a chance in hell of being a good film. It was a lazy film that ripped of all the rotten parts of the "Transformers" series like pack of hyenas on crack. So did you and the Asylum have to go and rip off the bad parts of "Battleship?" Is this the new auto-cannibalism of Hollywood today?
Anyway, look if you've seen the preview for "Battleship," you basically know the plot for the underwear stain. An old warship is chugging around when there's a sudden attack that knocks out the electrical equipment of all the other ships and planes. So now our only hope is Mario Van Peebles on an old ship looking for invisible alien ships.
By the way. The special (ha!) effects can barely handlle INVISIBLE ships. Think about that, let it set in. Ok, then they have to do aliens. Oh lord, they are the worst CGI I've seen. Clunky and confusing and yet meaningless...oh wait I was just describing the acting.
Sigh....
STRANGE SPANNERS being an accounting of strangeness of the warp and woof of my mind For those of you new here, think of this as 1/2 "Night Gallery" Our Motto: Nos somnium quisnam es futurus fatum quod insolitus tutus vos!
Showing posts with label EPIC BAD FILM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label EPIC BAD FILM. Show all posts
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Bad films.
Some folks scratch their head why some bad films receive a cult status. Why watch something that is complete schist, right? I have to admit I have no good answer. I just know every now and then comes a film so jaw droppingly bad that it becomes an experience.
The trouble is, in this day in age the cult of bad films is now recognized. That means folks intentionally try to make a bad film. Trouble is, that's an art you can't really fake unless you are some genius. The general results then are films that wind up like third rate "Airplane" knock offs or worse bore fests.
I saw the trailer to "Birdemic" a while ago and nearly swallowed my gum. This, I could see was the real McCoy. After seeing the film, I can safely say this is a truly bad film. It is a modern classic of the genre of crapola. If there was a king of crap he'd have to give the crown to this one.
One thing that makes this a truly real bad film, is that it actually takes it time. It's not some ADD riff on "Plan 9 from out of space." It gives us time to wallow in pointless traffic shots and incredibly bad sound work. One of my favorite early points in the film was in the very credits where it lists "Supporting Casts." Plural. Love it.
The film is about a boring guy, and he meets a boring girl. He says he remembers her from high school, she was two seats behind him. She says, "You can remember that far back," though it's not clear if far back is all the way to high school, or two seats back. From this meeting they become eventually, oh so eventually bed buddies. Then one day, they wake up and the sky is full of screaming, oh so screaming, cgi birds.
This is the type of film that after watching you go and grab a friend and say, "Oh holy crap you have to see this!" Truly a classic of badness. It will not be topped or bottomed for generations.
Some folks scratch their head why some bad films receive a cult status. Why watch something that is complete schist, right? I have to admit I have no good answer. I just know every now and then comes a film so jaw droppingly bad that it becomes an experience.
The trouble is, in this day in age the cult of bad films is now recognized. That means folks intentionally try to make a bad film. Trouble is, that's an art you can't really fake unless you are some genius. The general results then are films that wind up like third rate "Airplane" knock offs or worse bore fests.
I saw the trailer to "Birdemic" a while ago and nearly swallowed my gum. This, I could see was the real McCoy. After seeing the film, I can safely say this is a truly bad film. It is a modern classic of the genre of crapola. If there was a king of crap he'd have to give the crown to this one.
One thing that makes this a truly real bad film, is that it actually takes it time. It's not some ADD riff on "Plan 9 from out of space." It gives us time to wallow in pointless traffic shots and incredibly bad sound work. One of my favorite early points in the film was in the very credits where it lists "Supporting Casts." Plural. Love it.
The film is about a boring guy, and he meets a boring girl. He says he remembers her from high school, she was two seats behind him. She says, "You can remember that far back," though it's not clear if far back is all the way to high school, or two seats back. From this meeting they become eventually, oh so eventually bed buddies. Then one day, they wake up and the sky is full of screaming, oh so screaming, cgi birds.
This is the type of film that after watching you go and grab a friend and say, "Oh holy crap you have to see this!" Truly a classic of badness. It will not be topped or bottomed for generations.
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