So without further ado, after the jump, we will do us some Sugar Hill and find it mighty sweet!
|Is it just me, or does the "A" in the logo look like Linus with his blanket?|
|Would have been weirder with Markie Post.|
|Because when you think of fun, you think of Haiti.|
|All bars have only 3 bottles.|
|There's only room in my life for my lady and my moustache|
|The Seventies, when gangsters and fashion casualties collided.|
|Smoking is cool|
|These shoes are made for walking, and apparently causing blindness|
|Lamont always wanted to be a cop|
|When do a flip always check for zombies first...|
|It's the cleaning lady's century off...|
|ohhh weeeee witchy woman....|
|Masses have never been the same since they stopped being in latin...|
|For some reason this bad boy spooked me when it came out of the water.. maybe syfy can do a zombie gator film?|
MOTHER: Where does the sun set?
SUGAR: In the West.
MOTHER: Where does the sun rise?
SUGAR: From Guinea.
MOTHER: Where does power come from?
SUGAR: From the Living among the Dead.
MOTHER: Who can use that power?
SUGAR: The Dead Among the Living.
|Voodoo yoda am I yes|
|Glad to meet you hope you guessed my name...|
|Don't worry, be dead!|
|being a zombie isn't all bad, we have a health plan|
|love means never having to say you're dead|
|Is no smoking ironic giving what the Baron is?|
Suddenly cut to the harbor. One of Morgan's men is in charge of the docks. He forces workers to buy their jobs and when one doesn't he beats him to the ground yelling, "You'll buy your job boy!." Watching might be the Baron dressed like a dock worker. You can bet he doesn't like it, no sir.
|Beware of the white pantsuit of doom!|
Sugar confronts him with a "Hey WHitey!" Then adds the ever helpful "HONK!" all while dressed in a white pantsuit that would not have looked out of place in the Osmond Variety TV Show. She then sics her zombies on the Honk who loses his head with the help of a machete.
|Funny, he seems shorter than I remember|
|This means something|
|Look at me, look at your man, now look back to me...|
Meanwhile, Morgan is stuffing his face full of oysters when he learns the news. He's so cool he's not bothered that his minion is missing a head, nor can he guess who could have done it. Instead, he makes nicey with his live in, lived in, girl friend Celeste. Telling her that it's almost worth it to be nice to her. Touching.
|I'd rather give you a frontal lobotomy with this bottle in front of me!|
Morgan: "I always honor my obligations to the living and the dead."
Sugar: "So do I."
Morgan is a bit smitten with Sugar which makes Celeste very upset. Later she goes to Sugar's club and tells HER to get out and not be uppity. CAT FIGHT!
|Dark Lord of the Living Dead, Or NY cabbie, which is worse?|
|I know that I sort of look like Harry Dean Stanton, but I swear I'm not a zombie!|
Sugar is then at a photo shoot and meets Valentine. They tease each other a little, but really Valentine is feeling out Sugar as a suspect and warning her about Morgan. Sugar is like, "oh I can handle Morgan."
By the way, what line do I have to be in for "Beautiful Girl Friend Who Is Also A Model, AND Mistress Of The Dark?"
|Again, the White Pants Suit of Death|
|Going to be a hot time in the old pool hall tonight....|
|When the Devil is THIS glad to see you, you are boned|
Later, Sugar puts on the pants suit of doom and goes to thug number three. She uses her female wiles to seduce him. He's no looker but thinks she was checking him out earlier in the Morgan Lair so he buys it. So they go to her place to have a tryst. Instead, he finds a voodoo doll and the baron. Sugar uses voodoo to make the thug stab himself. Sometimes a knife is just a knife.
|She still grumbles about Morgan and his stupid Cat Woman Fetish|
|The Love that dares not say its name...|
|Morgan was sorry he joined the Organ of the Month Club|
|This fellow is just too boring for a funny caption|
|I want to take you to zombie bar!|
|Would you like another...zombie?|
|Mr. Green Jeans he ain't...|
|zombie chicken feet, remember this film predates "Poultrygeist" by decades|
|...and let's thank the boys in the band!|
Meanwhile, Morgan is still trying to buy out Sugar. Which makes him the dumbest criminal ever. Sugar reads the contract and doesn't like it, but asks for a little "extra" on top where the tax man can find it. Ten thousand extra. Since Morgan is interested in her pants, hopefully not to wear, he agrees. Later he gives the money to a cowboy flunky thug who delivers it to Sugar. First though he gets attacked by a chicken foot and zombies. He tries to buy his freedom with money, but Sugar says what the Baron will do he'll do for free. BARON: "It's on da house." They bury him alive with snakes.
|He sure does get around..|
|Yeah I can't believe this shirt was on sale too.|
|Sugar is waiting just for you...|
|That can't be right...|
|First Drive By Zombie|
|The Baron Put a Smile On My Face|
|I'm soaking in WHAT?!|
|To hell with the oscars, I got what I want!|
So then we are at the end. Sugar calls Morgan and tells him to go to hell and she won't talk with him or sell the club, and oh don't come to my spooky ass old mansion. So Morgan and Celeste drive over forthwith. Morgan leaves her in the car because she's about as useful as a fish bicycle and stalks Sugar's mansion. There's some tense moments of cat and mouse as he goes from one deserted room to the next, or are they deserted? Then Zombies attack the car and get Celeste. Morgan is now completely lost his cool and finds all his dead thugs now smiling zombies working for Sugar and The Baron. As Morgan runs around like the fabled chicken sans head he falls head long into a pool of quick sand. Sugar has had her revenge.