Come To The Garden

Come to the garden
at midnight
and embrace
ghosts and flowers
in one fragrant
phantastagorical
embrace

The Cyclops Queen

The Cyclops Queen
is very stylish
and her subjects
always keep an eye on her

The Brillman Sisters Are As Close As Close Can Be

..even in death they will not be parted

Aladdin and the Death Lamp (and Pegasus vs. Chimera)

Hey gang! What's worse than a Syfy Saturday night film? TWO Syfy Saturday night films. Yep we had the cinematic equivalent of the asteroid event that killed the dinosaurs and boy I didn't look so good either. The first thing I noticed is that both films had the exact same behind the scene people to blame for these messes. Both even had the same three writers which probably cost less than the same talent a room full of monkeys would have brought to the scene.

Ok, So Aladdin was the better of the two. Aladdin and his buddies and his girl pal find a map to a treasure. An evil merchant/thief with several teeth MIA and his gang follow around to cause trouble. The treasure turns out to be a lamp, inside the lamp a djinn who is rather put out since he's been stuck in that lamp for years. Soooo, no one believes that the djinn will pervert wishes just so it can kill people and suck their souls out so the djinn of course perverts wishes and kills people and sucks their souls out. Also, since the writers three are absolutely sure we haven't seen "Wishmaster" there's the big subplot about the djinn wanting to free his fellow djinns so they can rain some good old fashion brimstone on the world.

Ok, writing is piss poor, or as they say in Britain "American Beer." The only interesting thing about the writing is the great pains they took to avoid as much Islam and Arabic culture as possible. Aladdin might as well been from Ohio. The acting is mostly bland though old toothless gives it a good go. The specia effects for the djinn specially for its smokey backwash is pretty good. All else is craptastic. If I had to pick the two worst the first would be a CGI snake that was so bad you could almost see through it. The Other was some poor soul being covered in liquid gold. Now when "Game of Thrones" did that it was cool, but then it looked like real molten gold not Nickolodien slime mixed with gold glitter.

I can't even go into the next feature without howling like a banshee at a baptism. Let's just say this; what comes to your mind when you think of "Pegasus." Does not a certain bit of wingage pop to mind? Soooo, when you first see Pegasus we see a horse. Of course, it's so obvious. Who needs wings.

*grumble grumble*

The Vengeful Wraith Viatra Wants You To Know.....

...it is probably not going to turn out all right..

The Quantumanious Proctor

Maimers

Maimers are the terror weapon of the 22nd century
Designed by the new Thugee Initiative
They hunt from behind in packs
When they attack they grab a soldier
quickly administer anti-shock serum
then use surgical lasers
cutting off all limbs
the soldier is left alive and helpless

Hemowraiths

Hemowraiths are often confused with vampires
they are not however dead bodies reactivated
they are spirits that construct a body from blood
they are powerful in their magic and should be avoided

Fred Jellico

Jellico's hat is an attention getter
a soul getter too if you stare too long

The Cropsiak

The Cropsiak do not have jaws
The mouth is an irregular hole
different on each Copsiak
as finger prints to humans
from mouth to gullet
rings of tough flesh
wiggle and wriggle
and from the hissing of the rubbings
do the Cropsiak speak

In cremarentur reanimatus

Only the most skilled necromancers
can reanimate the cremated dead
Also the most mad for these
most heated dead have the coldest hearts

Mi Xan Far Seer

She is an asset to her government
her ability to see up to five hundred miles
is quite a help in gathering information

The Great And Terrible Oz

The Drzzt

The Drzzti are a low gravity race.
Such races often look odd to Earthlings.
Seemingly so fragile.
The Drzzti though are very much
brave warriors

All Hail The Toad Ghost!

ملهى ليلي الجن

The party is forever
bright lights instead of fire
the midnight djinn dances
to the tempo of earth life

Of All Goblins Hemogoblins are the worst

The Witch in the Gables

She has forsaken the Earth for the Heavens
She sleeps with the ravens and jackdaws
and wakes with the insects of the night

The Glarix

The Glarix are rather friendly aliens
They are homebodies however
staying on their little world
as the model the rest of the universe
on hydrogen atoms

The World Serpent Cries the Oceans Into Being