Monday, December 6, 2010

Movies I would remake: The Ape Man

I have long had the opinion that remaking good films was fairly pointless.  It was good the first time, right?  It would seem to me to be more profitable to find a film they screwed up and doing it right.  In that spirit, there are few films so hysterically wrong as "The Ape Man."

It starts with people waiting for a ship to arrive.  One is a tough journalist type of the period who's doing a last round of stories before reporting to duty, after all there's a war on you know.  A strange hickish looking fellow is going around saying things like, "You are Dr. Bellows and you are looking for the missing Dr. Jello," or "Hey, go see that girl over there.  There's a good story there."

There is indeed an interesting story.  Bela Lugosi has been doing some odd experiments that have left him looking like a muppet version of Bela.  He's pretended to be missing so folks won't comment on his need to go to the salon.  Now he just needs to keep murdering people for their spinal fluids so he can try to cure his condition.  Of course, our reporter and his girl monday-tuesday-wednesday-friday figure it all out and save the day.

The reason I want to remake it is this:  remember that hick character I was talking about?  Well at the end of the film he pops up again and the Reporter asks him who he is.  He smiles and says, "I'm the writer of this film!"  The end.  I love that they went bizarrely meta for a monogram cheapie.  One can take this and go in all sorts of direction.  Wouldn't a character love to ask his creator questions like, "Why did you kill all those people?" or more importantly, "Why did you do all this to me?"  This could turn into quite a fun movie as a remake.


  1. From your keyboard to the ears of the film execs!

  2. I love this movie. The whole 1940's ape genre is a veritable gold mine of social commentary waiting to be explored.

  3. social commentary, that could be fun. What would be your slant?