Damn I wish that I could like this. There has been an alien invasion, or rather infection) south of the border. We now have our own Hadrian's Wall along the borders to keep the aliens out. Two unlikeable, boring people (a photographer and spoiled rich girl) are on the wrong side of the wall and must make the trek through dangerous lands to try to find safety.
Ok, first off .... YES I GET YOUR REMARKABLY SUBTLE SUBTEXT ABOUT ALIENS ALONG THE BORDER. I mean holy hell "District 9" handled it better than you did and they were doing everything but carrying signs and passing out leaflets to the audience. Science fiction has long been used as a fig leaf to discuss other ideas, but man you have to a LITTLE respect for the audience.
Secondly, did I mention "unlikeable," and "boring" about our main characters? I think I did. Well, it was just an endurance to be with them. It was just painful watching them trying to connect with each other as human beings. Everytime they were on the screen the film just slowed to a deadening pace.
There were some great things here as far as the look. The huge wall. The cities that suffer from attacks of the creatures. They all hint at an interesting world. The aliens though like the main characters are boring. A mass of tentacles that show up after dark they are hard to see and never seem to do that much save rage against anything that crosses them. It doesn't seem like it would be too hard for a modern military to kill the noodle monsters.
STRANGE SPANNERS being an accounting of strangeness of the warp and woof of my mind For those of you new here, think of this as 1/2 "Night Gallery" Our Motto: Nos somnium quisnam es futurus fatum quod insolitus tutus vos!
God, I HATED this flick. It should have been called "Before Sunrise Makes the Critters Hide" or "When Harry Met Salamanders" or anything other than Monsters. Great premise totally fucking ruined by the most bogus "love" story ever. In between gnashing my teeth, I was passing out from boredom. And you're right, the spider-octopus-elephants were snoozers, too. (And didn't we see one of them in The Mist as well?) Gareth Edwards, go fuck yourself! Grrrrr.....
ReplyDeleteThank you Ivan, I should have told Edwards to take a jump at a rolling donut as well. Thanks for improving my review!
ReplyDeleteThe Mist by the way is a film I love cause I hate it so. I hate it because when you look at it, the crazy nutso lady was right. The Mist disappeared the moment he killed his own son.
ReplyDeleteLL:
ReplyDeleteGreat minds think alike---I reviewed The Mist (link below) and said the same thing (essentially; although I think I might have liked the flick overall more than you...)
(just scroll past all the photos....)
http://ivanlandia1.blogspot.com/2009/06/lovecrafty-and-then-some-reviews-in.html
I liked it just fine, I just hated that crazy lady so much that it makes the ending stick in me sidewise. I liked your alternate ending, I would have liked that or have it end like in Fulchi's beyond where they drive out of the world into world where the mist is coming from.
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